IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

the number of students studying science is constantly declining. what do you think are the causes and effects on our society.

#students #science #effects #society
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Science
,
such
 as astronomy and biology, is of paramount importance
knowldege
Correct your spelling
knowledge
 to learn by
people
, regardless of their age and level of education. These days, the number of pupils who are learning
science
subject
 at school is decreasing at an alarming rate.
This
 essay will discuss the cause of
this
trend
 and its impact
to
Change preposition
on
show examples
 the citizen.
Firstly
, one of the
cause
Change to a plural noun
causes
show examples
 of
this
 phenomenon is the emergence of new occupations which are considered more appealing. By and large, there is a myriad of novel professions
which
Correct pronoun usage
that
show examples
 are considered
required
Change the verb form
to require
show examples
 less effort in the modern world
Correct your spelling
now days
nowdays
Correct the word
nowadays
show examples
. Take social media influencer which is currently mushrooming in my country as an example. In fact,
people
 only requires
an excellent intrapersonal skills
Correct the article-noun agreement
excellent intrapersonal skills
an excellent intrapersonal skill
show examples
, which are often considered easier to
learned
Change the form of the verb
learn
show examples
 than
science
.
As a result
, more and more young generation tend to have less interest in studying
science
 and prefer to learn communication skills
instead
.
Moreover
,
science
 is considered
as
Correct your spelling
a
show examples
 complex
subject
 to learn by some
people
. Generally speaking, it
is often involves
Change the verb form
often involves
show examples
aplethora
Correct your spelling
a plethora
 of formulas and unfamiliar names which are difficult to understand easily by
student
Add an article
the student
a student
show examples
.
For instance
, in chemistry
subject
, young
people
are insist
Change the verb form
insist
show examples
 to remember the different names of liquid substances.
Consequently
,
this
 condition
is undoubtedly make
Change the verb form
undoubtedly makes
show examples
 children nowadays less interested in learning
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
science
further
. Obviously, there are some detrimental impacts presented by the decline of interest in exploring
science
subject
 in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
society. One of them is there would be less invention in the future because many young
generation
Change to a plural noun
generations
show examples
 put their interest in another school subjects,
such
 as arts. Clearly, a lot of extraordinary findings
which
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
invented in the past are mostly contributed by
science
. Perhaps a good example of
this
 is the electric lamp, which invented by Sir Thomas Alva Edison in the 19th century. Another adverse effect is there would be no
science
 at school curriculum.
In other words
,
science
subject
 would eventually
vanished
Change the verb form
vanish
show examples
 in the near future since there would be no
people
 who would like to pursue a degree in
science
Add an article
the science
a science
show examples
 program.
This
 demand,
however
, would eventually reduce a significant number
science
Change preposition
of science
show examples
 teachers and establish a zero demand in studying
science
 in the future. All in all,
science
 is currently experiencing a downward
trend
 in its popularity nowadays. The appearance of novel and promising job
carrer
Correct your spelling
career
 and the complexity of the
subject
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
considerend
Correct your spelling
considered
 the main causes of
this
trend
. If
this
trend
 is going to continue, there would be
lack
Correct article usage
a lack
show examples
on
Change preposition
of
show examples
 invention and extinction of
science
 in the
long-run
Correct your spelling
long run
show examples
.
Submitted by yuna160291 on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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