IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

Some people say that the main environmental problem of our time is the loss of species of plants and animals. Others say that there are more important environmental problems. Discuss both these views and give your opinion.

#people #time #loss #species #plants #animals
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It is undeniable that most of the countries have been suffered
the
Correct article usage
apply
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climate changes or some environmental
Problems
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 in todays. While some
people
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 think that biodiversity
which
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apply
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can
causes
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cause
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 the main environmental
problems
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, others accept that there are some other natural
disasters
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which
Correct pronoun usage
that
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 can cause
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environment
Replace the word
environmental
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problems
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. In
this
Linking Words
 essay, I will discuss
the
Remove the article
apply
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both views in detail and I would argue
that
Correct determiner usage
the
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 depletion of plants and living things.
Firstly
Linking Words
, there is no country
who
Correct pronoun usage
that
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 doesn’t suffer from natural
disasters
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 in the
world
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.
For example
Linking Words
, Japan, one of the countries in
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world
Add an article
the world
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, locating
on
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in
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 Earthquake zone frequently suffers the earthquake almost in all places of
county
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the county
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.
Moreover
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,
in
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apply
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some countries are unable to avoid over raining or flood or sandstorms. Recently,
china
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China
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 has faced with
the
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a
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 sandstorm for two days and getting air pollution is in
red
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the red
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 zone.
People
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 are aware the natural
disasters
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 as
this
Linking Words
 cause the problem for our
environment
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. Normally,
people
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 are getting
know
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knowledge
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 from news about the environmental
problems
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 even though it did not happen in
local
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the local
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 country.
Secondly
Linking Words
, global warming is the main problem of overusing the species in the
world
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. Nowadays,
people
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 are accepting that fishing and, wearing
the
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apply
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clothes and Jewry which made of animals, are for their fun and exercise.
Moreover
Linking Words
, habitats have been destroyed for
industrial
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the industrial
an industrial
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 firm and for housing plans have caused
the
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apply
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one
the
Change preposition
of the
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problems
Use synonyms
 for
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environment
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the environment
show examples
. Not surprisingly, there will be carbon dioxide in our
environment
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 as most
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
flora
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the flora
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 are depleting and there is not enough time for species to rebirth again and plants to alive. There more we used flora and furan, the less we get the green
environment
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. To conclude,
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environment
Add an article
the environment
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 is the key for all of us to
alive
Correct your spelling
live
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 in
this
Linking Words
world
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.
Therefore
Linking Words
, there should
be retain
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retain
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 the
environment
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 not to damage from natural
disasters
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 and I highly
people
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 want to emphasise to maintain species and animals as
this
Linking Words
 is
main
Change the article
the main
show examples
case
Correct your spelling
cause
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 of environmental
problems
Use synonyms
.
Submitted by sandarmyint740 on

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Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • biodiversity
  • extinction
  • habitat loss
  • ecosystem
  • food chain
  • imbalance
  • interconnected
  • climate change
  • pollution
  • personal actions
  • policy changes
  • education
  • awareness
What to do next:
Look at other essays: