IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 8

The average standard of people’s health is likely to be lower in the future than it is now. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

#people’s #health #future
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Health
Use synonyms
 has been an important point of discussion in recent years. It is argued that
people
Use synonyms
’s
health
Use synonyms
 will deteriorate in the future. I completely agree with
this
Linking Words
 opinion and think that
people
Use synonyms
’s well-being is worsening both physically and mentally.
Firstly
Linking Words
,
people
Use synonyms
 are less careful with their physical
health
Use synonyms
. Nowadays, many novel treatments have made a huge breakthrough and
thus
Linking Words
, diseases are claimed to be easier to combat.
As a result
Linking Words
,
people
Use synonyms
 started to pay less attention to keeping fit because they think that it is simple to regain
health
Use synonyms
.
For example
Linking Words
,
although
Linking Words
 two-thirds of chronic diseases are preventable by implementing a healthy lifestyle, the number of
people
Use synonyms
 with
such
Linking Words
 diseases are still on the rise as the government increases the investment made in treatments.
This
Linking Words
 shows that
people
Use synonyms
 lack awareness of disease prevention and can lead to deteriorating
health
Use synonyms
 conditions.
Secondly
Linking Words
, stress-related disorders have become more prevalent.
People
Use synonyms
, especially younger generations, are living in a society that has become increasingly competitive. The job market requires more effort to land in and to hold one’s place in a position. Meanwhile, prices for vehicles and homes have reached a record high, and both are pointing to
further
Linking Words
 rise. These factors lead to immense pressure felt by
people
Use synonyms
, which deteriorates their mental
health
Use synonyms
 by causing anxiety, depression. In fact, the percentage of
people
Use synonyms
 experiencing stress, anxiety, and depression has nearly doubled in Australia over the past five decades. In conclusion, I think that the benchmark for
people
Use synonyms
’s
health
Use synonyms
 will be lowered in the coming years as
people
Use synonyms
 are less proactive in maintaining
health
Use synonyms
 and more prone to suffer from external stress.
Submitted by angelazyy154 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: