When new towns are planned, it is more important to build more public parks or sports facilities than shopping centers for people to spend their free time. To what extent you agree or disagree?

The infrastructures in cities and towns play an indispensable role in the public’s daily life.
Therefore
, some people argue that the government should allocate money to building more public gardens or
sports
machines when planning new towns. From my perspective, I strongly agree with their opinion due to the following reasons. What must be prioritized is that by providing more natural places,
such
as the public playground, the government will put citizens as beneficiaries. It is undeniable that citizens who are overwhelmed by their work and studies, are experiencing a sedentary lifestyle
.
Change the punctuation
?
show examples
Thus
, it is exposing themselves to open-air that enables residents to relax and enjoy their leisure time when they are facing numerous plants and flowers, which provides fresh air and amazing visions.
By contrast
, people may suffer from anxiety and rage if they only have crowded and noisy shopping malls to spend their spare time in.
Besides
, online shopping is way more convenient nowadays due to the accessible internet, but the benefits of public parks cannot be achieved online.
Consequently
, public parks are more vital than shopping centres in towns. What should be equally mentioned is that by having more exercising equipment, people are more likely to receive a healthier life. To explain it
further
, more and more residents aware of the importance of a robust body and are willing to do more exercises to improve their health condition.
However
, the high price of private gym room keeps their exercise plan at bay. Only by having access to cheap or free
sports
facilities provided by the local government can dwellers exert their
sports
plans, which ensure equal opportunities for dwellers to own better physical health.
Hence
,
instead
of building more shopping centres, the local council should take public
sports
facilities into consideration. In conclusion, while shopping malls may have some advantages, I firmly suggest that more public parks and
sports
facilities should be built. Never can we ignore that these infrastructures lead to a high-quality life for citizens both mentally and physically.
Submitted by skymengfang on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: