Some people choose to eat no meat or fish. They believe that this is not only better for their own health but also benefits the world as a whole. Discuss this view and give your own opinion. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

#people #meat #fish #health #world

this

contemporary era, what is the best food to eat? is a burning topic of discussion.

However

, some folks prefer vegetarian meals only. They argue that it is better for their own health

as well as

beneficial for the world. In my view, one should follow vegetarianism. The upcoming paragraphs will shed light on

this

view. To commence with, there are various benefits of not eating fish and meat.

Firstly

Although

these types of edibles are high-calorie meals, high consumption of these foods leads to several health issues.

In other words

, if a person is not doing any physical exercise, he should not eat non-vegetarian edibles frequently.

For instance

, a survey recently conducted by BBC News has revealed that 50% of the urban population has become obese

due to

this

habit in the

last

two decades.

Secondly

, these days,

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

millennials have a sedentary lifestyle so they are not doing any

workout

Fix the agreement mistake

workouts

show examples

Therefore

, eating non-vegetarian foods

are

Correct subject-verb agreement

show examples

not good for the health of the people who are living especially in cities.

On the other hand

, the indispensable positive of eating

the

Correct article usage

show examples

vegetarian meal is that it helps to maintain balance in the ecological system.

Additionally

, not eating wild animals is crucial for the environment.

For example

, research conducted by The British Government shows that many species disappeared in the

last

decade.

Thus

this

trend helps for the betterment of the globe. In conclusion, Vegetarianism keeps a person healthy

along with

maintaining the balance in the ecological system for the betterment of the world and human

being

Fix the agreement mistake

beings

show examples

. I think that everyone should follow a vegetarian diet.

Submitted by Chandan Kumar Singh on Sun May 30 2021

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Task Response

Task Response: The response adequately discusses the given view on vegetarianism and presents a clear opinion. However, the introduction could be improved for better engagement and context setting.

Coherence and Cohesion

Coherence and Cohesion: The essay has a logical structure and presents supported main points. However, the introduction and conclusion could be strengthened to provide better coherence. Additionally, the use of transition words and cohesive devices can be enhanced to improve overall coherence and cohesion.

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16Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
5Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

266 words

5.50

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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