Some people think that wild animals should not be kept in zoos. Others believe that there are good reasons for having zoos. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Wild
animals
are kept in
zoos
all over the world.
However
, these places are tourist attractions in many countries and need wild fauna to attract visitors. I believe that wild creatures should not be kept in
zoos
and there should be alternative ways to see them.   Regarding the reasons for providing the immense benefits of having a zoo in our city. Most importantly, they attract tourists and make money for the city. Visitors get a chance to see wild
animals
that they would not see unless they travelled far away. Rare species, like Chinese panda, Indian tiger, or African rhino,
for example
, are endangered and if we had no
zoos
they would die.
Zoos
care for these 
animals
and give us a chance to see them.
Therefore
, we cannot underestimate the educational importance of
zoos
.
However
, many people feel that wild
animals
should be free. They should not be kept in cages and small areas in
Zoos
.
This
is cruel to the
animals
and they often die because they are not in their natural habitat. We frequently see news stories about rare
animals
dying in
zoos
or getting sick because the area is not big enough or suitable for wild
animals
like lions or polar bears.
Also
, these
animals
are unhappy and sometimes attack humans.
Lastly
, Caging wild
animals
is unhealthy for the
animals
and is cruel. Even though both views put forward valid points,
however
, I strongly believe that
zoos
are no place for wild
animals
. If
animals
need to be cared for, they should be looked after in their natural habitat in game parks or wildlife reserves. I believe that governments should look after the precious wild
animals
in their country and should close down 
zoos
that profit from them. In conclusion,
although
people believe that
zoos
are good places to keep wild
animals
because they can earn money and educate people, I feel that we do not need
zoos
anymore. Technically, we can look at wild
animals
on the internet and we can feel happy knowing that they are free.
Submitted by aliaghanjd74 on

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task achievement
Try to elaborate further on examples within your essay to strengthen your argument.
coherence cohesion
Ensure each paragraph flows smoothly into the next. Adding transitional phrases can further enhance the fluidity of your essay.
coherence cohesion
Avoid repetition of words and ideas to maintain reader interest and enhance clarity.
task achievement
You presented a well-balanced discussion by considering both viewpoints, which showcases your ability to critically analyze the topic at hand.
coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are clear and concise, providing a strong framework for your essay.
coherence cohesion
The structure of your essay is logical, with each point supporting your overall argument clearly.
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