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Writing Samples /
Band 5.5

Government should make laws about people's nutrition and food choice. Other argue that is their choice. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

#government #laws #people #nutrition #food #choice
A certain section of people believes that it is the responsibility of a government to implement
laws
 on food habits.
On the other hand
, some people exclaim that it is their option. In my opinion, the responsibility lays on both government and
also
 on the individual. To tackle the food and nutrition problem, the government has to bring the
laws
 and launch new publicity programmes in the media.
In addition
, governments have to arrange awareness activities in schools so that we are able to educate the whole society. A survey, made by Stanford University nutrition students reveals that the cases of malnutrition have been fallen to 5% in Brisbane from 30% after the strict implementation of
laws
.
On the other hand
, many people believe that it sole response of an individual to take care of his own health.
For example
, in ,Somalia there are so many governments
laws
 in place related to food intake and nutrition's, but the country mainly suffering from malnutrition in children's growth and according to an article published in a renowned newspaper shows that children mortality rate has been increased from 5% in 2015 to 20% in 2020 which clearly explains that even after implementing tough rules and regulations it is the sole responsibility for an individual to follow their choice of their own. In conclusion, I can say that both the governments have to bring new
laws
 and
also
 all individuals
has
Change the verb form
have
show examples
 to care for themselves on their own. As
Correct article usage
a,result
show examples
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
result
Add an article
the result
a result
show examples
 we can bring an equal balanced society which will help in maintaining the ecosystem.
Submitted by gouni.prashanthreddy on

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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