Some people believe the media should be allowed to publish private information about people, while others are against it. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

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Social networks are one of the best platforms nowadaysindividuals think that permission should be given to publish the personal information of citizens,

the

Correct word choice

but the

show examples

rest of the

people

oppose it. As exposing private data can be dangerous, I believe that it should not be allowed to spread personal statistics. On the one hand, spreading personal facts can be a threat to

people

, who love to share their secret things with social media

people

. If anyone shares his or her bank details, bank accounts can be hacked.

Moreover

, these published data not only remain on their national border, it may be available to the international secret agency.

For example

, the Bangladesh election commission shared all citizens national identity cards on Facebook in 2021,

as a result

, the secret agency RAW, India, got details about Bangladeshi

people

, which will enable them to make a proper plan for our citizens.

On the other hand

, if we share our private problems with the netizens, there is a high chance of getting a solution. Because these platforms are used by

people

who are skilled in numerous fields.

For instance

, on Facebook, there are some secret groups like sex education, where many experts try to provide clear ideas about different sexual problems.

In addition

, many

people

make themselves happy by watching other's personal enjoying moments, as they always share on X, Telegram, Instagram, and Facebook. In conclusion, even though

due to

these cutting-edge technologies nothing is secret today;

however

, personal data should have remained personal.

This

will help

people

to remain cool

as well as

being a safe person from any potential danger.

Submitted by zobaermasum12 on Fri Nov 08 2024

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Coherence & Cohesion

To enhance coherence and cohesion, consider using more transitional phrases between paragraphs and ideas to ensure the logical flow of your arguments. This will help improve the reader's understanding of the connection between your points.

Task Achievement

Ensure that your essay covers both views in detail and provides a balanced discussion. While you have addressed both views, more depth on the opposing viewpoint would strengthen the essay.

Task Achievement

Clarify the examples provided to ensure they are directly relevant and support your arguments effectively. Try to choose examples that are universally recognized and easy for the reader to understand.

Coherence & Cohesion

The introduction clearly outlines the essay's topic and presents your stance, setting up a clear direction for the essay.

Task Achievement

You have incorporated some specific examples, which enhance the relevance of your arguments. This demonstrates your ability to relate the topic to real-life situations.

10
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 8.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

266 words

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Some people believe the media should be allowed to publish private information about people, while others are against it. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Online shopping has gained immense popularity in recent years, challenging the traditional brick- and-mortar stores. Examine the advantages and disadvantages of both methods of shopping and give your opinion.

Some people think that the teenage years are the happiest time of most people’s lives. Others think that adult life brings more happiness, in spite of greater responsibility. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Communication through text messaging and other instant forms of online communication are short and basic. Some people think this will be death of grammar and spelling. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

You recently attended a meeting at a hotel. When you return home, you found you had left some important papers at the hotel. Write a letter to the manager of the hotel. -Explain the problem. -Say why the documents are important. -Suggest a solution.