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Band 6.5

some people believe that social network site is both advantageous and disadvantageous. To what extent do you agree or disagree??

#people #network #site
As
people
 live in
modern
Correct article usage
the modern
show examples
 technology era communication ways are changed and they use various kinds of online
networks
 to shorten long distances between their friends or relatives. There are benefits and negatives of choosing
this
 method of connections. The notion of chatting through online channels is
fascinating
Add an article
a fascinating
show examples
one
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 and one that I believe in. On the one
hand
Add a comma
,hand
show examples
 it is understandable why
people
 prefer
natural
Add an article
the natural
a natural
show examples
 method of interaction as it gives
opportunity
Correct article usage
the opportunity
show examples
people
 feel each other closer.
For instance
, it is clear that
community
Correct article usage
the community
show examples
 were more natural, kind and careful than
this
Change preposition
in this
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 period of time.
As a result
 of existing social
networks
such
 as Facebook,Instagram,Whatsapp
people
 do not share their time with family or friends so much.Due to the fact that they make conversation via swift ways and see each other, it satisfies them and
do
Change the verb form
does
show examples
 not intend to arrange meetings. If
people
 do not appreciate the chance of real connections, it will result
with
Change preposition
in
show examples
loss
Correct article usage
a loss
show examples
 of emotions for them.
On the other hand
, I support the arguments which are
pleasant
Replace the word
pleased
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 with having these chances and communicate with
people
 who are in the remote distances. It is the best way to illustrate that overseas feel confident when they get in touch with their family. If there is no opportunity to make video calls and to get closer
with
Change preposition
to
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 their environment,
people
 will be
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
anxious. Owing to the fact that these virtual meetings cause some businesses
end
Add the particle
to end
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 up with pleasure way, it is
optimal
Add an article
an optimal
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 variant in
this
 case.
Consequently
, it has merits in terms of how these
networks
 are being used. Providing that
people
 are not
addictive
Replace the word
addicted
show examples
for
Change preposition
to
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 these
networks
, they can use them for
awaring
Correct your spelling
awarding
 of relatives who are outside of borders or make new
bussinesses
Correct your spelling
businesses
. In conclusion,
however
people
 have compliments about the social users that make them be unemotional and careless, I firmly believe that when
people
 use them for
right
Correct article usage
the right
show examples
 purposes, they will experience more advantages than drawbacks.
Submitted by mahiyakarim85 on

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