The values that we learn from our parents and family have a greater influence on our future success than any knowledge and skills we learn at school. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

Some
people
claim that the foundational principles acquired at home contribute more to future achievements than the expertise instilled by teachers and schools. Personally, I completely disagree with
this
view, as I believe both forms of wisdom play equally significant roles in shaping one’s path to success.
To begin
with, learning values from parents and family is essential for long-term personal success because it significantly influences the development of qualities like honesty and integrity. As observed, honest
people
have a greater chance of accomplishing goals compared to those who are hypocritical.
For example
, if a sincere person establishes a company, they are more likely to produce high-quality products,
whereas
a dishonest person may be more self-interested, leading to lower-quality or even defective products.
Although
selling substandard goods may yield short-term profits, it is likely to lead to failure in the long term once product issues come to light.
For instance
, a Chinese dairy giant, Sanlu, went bankrupt after its dishonest practices were exposed.
In contrast
, organisations run by honest
people
avoid these risks and are more likely to thrive over time.
However
, the expertise and practical abilities imparted by teachers and schools have an equally significant impact on future achievements.
Firstly
, regarding expertise, to
further
illustrate using the example above,
while
sincere businesspeople may establish companies with positive philosophies, a company’s success
also
depends on other types of knowledge gained in school,
such
as economics, business management, and marketing. If a company focuses solely on producing high-quality products without understanding these areas, it may struggle to succeed
due to
poor operational decisions and ineffective marketing strategies.
Moreover
, competencies
such
as communication, teamwork, and problem-solving are essential for achieving one’s ambitions, as these abilities are highly valued in the workplace. If a person cannot express themselves, work in a team, or solve problems, they may find it difficult to complete tasks effectively and secure a promotion. In conclusion, learning fundamental values and acquiring knowledge and practical abilities are equally important.
While
the right principles help
people
develop positive qualities that provide them with direction in life, knowledge and competencies equip them to address various problems and tasks practically.
Submitted by 645119931 on

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language
The essay could benefit from more varied sentence structures to enhance readability and engagement. Try incorporating complex sentences and varying lengths to add diversity.
task achievement
Additional specific examples or case studies could further strengthen the argument and provide more substantial support to the points made.
content
The essay effectively presents a balanced view by acknowledging the importance of both family values and formal education in achieving success.
task achievement
Your introduction provides a clear thesis statement which sets the stage for the rest of the essay and makes it clear what will be discussed.
coherence cohesion
There is a logical flow between paragraphs, with smooth transitions that guide the reader effortlessly from one point to the next.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • influence
  • future success
  • family values
  • knowledge and skills
  • shape
  • beliefs
  • behavior
  • emotional support
  • encouragement
  • academic education
  • discipline
  • time management
  • contribute to
  • extent
  • agree
  • disagree
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