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Writing Samples
Band 6

Scientists have been warning for many years about protecting the environment and that we should limit the use of energy in our daily lives. Despite these warnings, many people do not do this. What are the reasons for that and how people can be encouraged to take an interest in protecting the environment?

#scientists #years #environment #limit #energy #lives #warnings #people #interest
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Scientists have been advocating that it is necessary to limit the
use
 of
Energy
 in our daily lives to protect the environment. Despite
this
, the
Use
 of
Energy
 has not lessened and in my opinion, it is
due to
 the fact that
people
 prefer to
use
 the facilities they have access to
instead
 of making compromises for the benefit of the environment.
For
this
 reason, I think that it is necessary for them to understand the importance of their action and
also
governements
Correct your spelling
governments
government
 can have a role in that. On the one hand,
people
 know what are environmentally friendly behaviors that can have a positive impact on life on our Earth.
However
, these behaviours require a certain amount of sacrifice in the way we live our
life
Fix the agreement mistake
lives
show examples
. When it comes to
reduce
Change the verb form
reducing
show examples
 the amount of
Energy
 we
Use
Fix capitalization
use
show examples
 in our daily lives we are asking
people
 to affect what are nowadays unchangeable habits. We get so used to all of our electric devices that it would be really difficult to do our things without them.
On the other hand
, it is not completely impossible to foster a change in
people
’s habits. Giving emphasis to the consequences of that could be a first way to inspire a chance,
in particular
 in those who mostly care about
this
 problem. Alternatively, governments can ramp up their efforts in forcing changes in those behaviours if not possibly
otherwise
. Through new laws, it can be reduced the amount of
Energy
 used.
For example
, in Europe the parliament have signed a law about the purpose of reducing building
Energy
use
 and through solar panels create independent buildings and less polluting.
To conclude
, I personally believe that it is difficult to ask
people
 to give up on comfort and facilities for something that sometimes seems so distant to them but as the scientists have emphasized it is important that everybody give their support in reducing the
Use
 of
Energy
 in their daily lives.
Submitted by lucrezialivi on

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task achievement
Consider providing more specific examples to support your main points. Specific examples make your argument more convincing and concrete.
coherence cohesion
Work on enhancing the logical structure of your essay by ensuring that each paragraph transitions smoothly to the next. This will improve the reader's understanding and flow of your ideas.
task achievement
You have addressed all parts of the task, providing reasons why people do not limit their energy use and suggesting ways to encourage better environmental practices.
coherence cohesion
Your essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, which helps frame your argument effectively.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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