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Writing Samples
Band 7

some people feel that entertainers are paid too much money. Do you agree or disagree? which other types of job should be highly paid?

#people #entertainers #money #job
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Some people think that celebrities in the entertainment industry are earning too much money. According to them,
professions
such
 as scientists and policemen deserve higher pay, perhaps because these
professions
 have made greater contributions to
society
. While I agree that scientific researchers and policemen should receive higher pay, I strongly disagree with the idea that sports
stars
 and movie
stars
 are paid too much money. It is true that entertainers earn much more than a number of other
professions
, yet I think they are not overpaid for two main reasons.
Firstly
, pop musicians and film
stars
 contribute to
society
 by creating high-quality music and movies, which have enriched the diversity of modern culture and
also
 have
entaintered
Correct your spelling
encountered
 the public.
Secondly
, being a famous entertainer usually means sacrificing privacy. The pop
stars
 should be compensated for the private lives that they have sacrificed. They should be paid for their contribution and sacrifice. Meanwhile, I would like to say that there are many types of jobs that are not highly paid as entertainers.
For example
, scientists should be highly paid because their research is of great importance to our
society
. The breakthroughs they have made in scientific fields have significantly improved human life. Another example is policemen. They are the heroes that ensure the safety of
society
. Some of them even sacrificed their lives to protect people. I believe that they should receive higher salaries. Being fairly paid means their contribution and sacrifice are recognised and appreciated. In conclusion, I believe that entertainers are fairly paid, and some other
professions
such
 as scientists and police deserve higher pay as well.
Submitted by dandelionsmy on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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