IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

Some children have to live at different places during their childhood because of transferrable jobs of their parents. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages of living in different places in childhood and give your opinion on whether it is good or bad to stay at different areas for children.

#children #places #childhood #jobs #parents #areas
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In the contemporary era, parents have to move from
one
 place to another because of their transferable jobs, meanwhile
offsprings
Fix the agreement mistake
offspring
show examples
 have to change their
school
places
. There are plenty of
merit
Fix the agreement mistake
merits
show examples
 and demerits of changing
school
Fix the agreement mistake
schools
show examples
 after
certain
Add an article
a certain
show examples
time
. Here I will shed light on it
along with
 my own opinion. To commence with, there are numerous pros of
get
Change the verb form
getting
show examples
 admission
in
Change preposition
to
show examples
new
Add an article
a new
show examples
school
 after
sometime
Replace the word
some time
show examples
. First and foremost, it enriches their knowledge about different
places
for instance
last
 month a survey was conducted at
district
Add an article
the district
show examples
 level, in which people saw
ashtonish
Correct your spelling
astonish
astonished
 result of those
children
 who change their
places
 have vast experience about different
places
 as compared to those who stabled at
one
 city for
long
Change the article
a long
show examples
time
. So living
at
Change preposition
in
show examples
 different
places
 is lucrative for youngers.
Apart from
this
,
while
 changing
school
also
enhance
Correct subject-verb agreement
enhances
show examples
 the confidence of
children
,
this
 is because they get
chance
Correct article usage
a chance
show examples
 to meet
number
Change the article
a number
the number
show examples
 of new individuals and acquaint
with
Correct pronoun usage
them with
show examples
 them. In conclusion
Add a comma
,
show examples
they do not feel fear to talk any stranger because it become their habit to face new masses
Change preposition
on at
show examples
at
Correct your spelling
a
show examples
 daily
base
Correct your spelling
basis
show examples
.
On the other hand
, every coin has two sides, so it has
also
 some
negtive
Correct your spelling
negative
 effects on
children
Change noun form
children's
show examples
study
Wrong verb form
studying
show examples
 to shift from
one
 place to another
firstly
,
sometime
Replace the word
sometimes
show examples
parents
Change noun form
parents'
parent's
show examples
 job
transfrom
Correct your spelling
transform
 in the mid of offsprings classes that
time
 they have to suffer from their
study
Fix the agreement mistake
studies
show examples
,
this
 is because every mentor
have
Change the verb form
has
show examples
 different ways of teaching, which
effects
Correct your spelling
affects
show examples
 the study of youngers because
some
Replace the word
sometimes
show examples
time
 they do not understand the way of teaching of new teachers. Hammering the
last
 nail,
according to
 my point of view live
at
Change preposition
in
show examples
 different
places
import
Correct subject-verb agreement
imports
show examples
 many new things in
children
 and
give
Correct subject-verb agreement
gives
show examples
 chance to explore their knowledge,
whereas
live
Change the verb form
living
show examples
at
Change preposition
in
show examples
one
 place
become
Correct subject-verb agreement
becomes
show examples
monotous
Correct your spelling
monotonous
 sometime.
Submitted by kamaljeet9592396471 on

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task achievement
Ensure that the essay fully addresses the prompt and provides a clear opinion on the topic. Make sure to include relevant examples and specific details to support your points.
coherence cohesion
Work on connecting your ideas logically to improve the overall coherence and cohesion of the essay. Use transition words and phrases to link your sentences and paragraphs.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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