IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

Every country should have a free health service, even if this means that the latest medical treatments may not be available through the service because they are too expensive. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#country #health #service #treatments
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A healthy country is a wealthy country. Free
health
Use synonyms
 treatment should be provided in all
nations
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 in the world
inlcuding
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including
 the latest advanced medical service. It is agreed that some of the medical
treatments
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 are so expensive but
goverments
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governments
government
 should introduce free service
health
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 plans for
people
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 and I totally agree that all countries should implement
this
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.
To begin
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 with, it is purely government responsibility to build healthy societies in their
nations
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 as it is commonly believed that healthier localities can contribute to
nations
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 growth in terms of taxes.
In other words
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, when
people
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 are good and fit
then
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 only they participate in revenue generation.
For example
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, when governments collect money in terms of the tax,
then
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 it
the
Change to a genitive case
the duty of the nation
the nation's duty
show examples
nations
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 duty to safe
gaurd
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guard
 their public. Nowadays, there is so much
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
advancement in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
medical treatment but many of them are limited to corporate hospitals. Big countries like China and India have more poor
people
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 and they are very far from the government medical policies. And in well-developed
contries
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countries
also
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 many
health
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treatments
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 are so expensive and not
accesible
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accessible
 to all.
For instance
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,
treatments
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such
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 as heart and brain diseases are too costly,
thus
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,
people
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 who are rich can pay for those
treatments
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 and for
poor
Correct article usage
the poor
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 it is nightmare.
Hence
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,
health
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 departments of each country should think of these and make
helath
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health
 policies
such
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 that the
health
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 care systems
accepts
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accept
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 all common
people
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 and
that is
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 the only way every citizen contributes to their
nation
Replace the word
national
show examples
 growth. To conclude, even though it is very difficult to provide free
health
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 service for each citizen of their nation, all countries must prepare a
well integrated
Add a hyphen
well-integrated
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 and organized
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health-care
Correct your spelling
healthcare
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 system so that even the poor
people
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 can get the benefit of
such
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 medical plans. And
this
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 is the best way to make their citizens healthy.
Submitted by kishore.likith on

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