some people think that sports involving violence such as boxing martial arts should be banned from TV and international competitions.to what extent do you agree or disagree?

#people #sports #violence #arts #tv #competitions

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It is an undeniable fact that

sports

Use synonyms

play a major role in both the personal and social life of individuals. It is said that physical games must be avoided from both the visual media and beyond the border contests. I completely agree with

this

Linking Words

notion. In the upcoming paragraphs, I will put forth my views in detail. To commence with,

such

Linking Words

sports

Use synonyms

would likely influence immature children negatively. To elaborate, while viewing those martial arts and violent athletics regularly and continuously would develop a selfish mind in youngsters and they

also

Linking Words

exhibit an unhealthy competition towards others.

In addition

Linking Words

, they might not be able to withstand mild pain by themselves.

In other words

Linking Words

, they might become aggressive.

For example

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, according to the survey conducted by the Times Now magazine in Mumbai, 34% of adolescents developed criminal behaviour under the influence of

such

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masculine

sports

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Hence

Linking Words

, from the above-mentioned facts, it is apparent that violent

sports

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would have a deleterious impact on the life of

people

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Moreover

Linking Words

people

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would become addicted to those games. To explain, rather than fulfilling their responsibilities, they might get confined within their rooms to spend time on

such

Linking Words

programmes. Apart from the behavioural disturbances, individuals lose their physical fitness. Eventually, a down growth in health and academic performance is seen in

such

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people

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For example

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, a study conducted by the WHO shows that

people

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who are addicted to

such

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physical competitions have not only a disrupted mind but

also

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a lack of physical fitness and degraded intelligence.

Therefore

Linking Words

, it could be reinforced the perils of

such

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games on population.

Lastly

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, to conclude, in my opinion, I completely agree with the removal of masculine

sports

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from aspects of society including competitions for the sake of both the physical and mental well-being of individuals.

Submitted by neethuchackochan on Fri Jun 04 2021

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Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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10
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

7.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

5 paragraphs

296 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

combat sports
glorification of violence
impressionable audiences
cultural heritage
self-discipline
sportsmanship
media portrayal
regulatory measures
censorship
psychological impact
broadcasting regulations
watershed timing
advocates and opponents
ethical considerations
economic implications

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some people think that sports involving violence such as boxing martial arts should be banned from TV and international competitions.to what extent do you agree or disagree?

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Increasing the price of petrol is the only way to solve environmental problems. Do you agree or disagree?

In some cities, public parks and open spaces are being changed into gardens where local residents can grow their own food and vegetables. Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

Some people think that parents should teach children how to be good members of society. Others, think that school is the place to learn it. Discuss both views?

Children brought up in families with less money are better prepared for life than those from wealthy families. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

In most countries, with the widespread of the use of Internet, people have more freedom to choose to work at home instead of travelling to work. Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?