IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

Many people believe that money is a good gift for a teenager while others disagree. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

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Nowadays, the number of people who give
money
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 to teenagers as a
gift
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 increases. Some people insist that it is good to give
money
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for
Change preposition
to
show examples
 youngsters as a present, while others opine that
money
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 is not an ideal
gift
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. In
this
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 essay, I am going to discuss both
side
Change to a plural noun
sides
show examples
 of the arguments and examine the reasons why I believe
money
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 is a good
gift
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 for the younger generation.
To begin
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 with, there are two reasons why I believe giving
money
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 has
merits
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merited
show examples
.
Firstly
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, children are able to learn how to use
money
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 while young. When children are given
money
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, they have several options which are saving, using and investing.
Thus
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, they are forced to consider the best option. It
help
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helps
show examples
 youngsters to develop their ability to think and to become more independent. On top of that, they are able to obtain what they want. In fact, gifts that are given
from
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by
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 others do not match their tastes.
On the other hand
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, there are several drawbacks
as
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apply
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to giving
money
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 as a
gift
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. At
first
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,
money
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 will not remain for a long time. In general gifts from others accompany memories, and those help to recall the memories.
However
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, if teenagers are given
money
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, it is difficult to keep memories with
such
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 gifts, since they tend to use
money
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 unknowingly.
Secondly
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, the younger generation makes mistake as to the usage of
money
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. In fact, parents in Japan do not willing to give
money
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 as a
gift
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, because they really care about children’s safety. In conclusion, I believe both sides of the arguments have merits.
However
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, I believe
money
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 is still an ideal
gift
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 for teenagers.
This
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 is because it helps them to learn how to use
money
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 correctly, and they can get what they want exactly.

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