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Band 7.5

It is more important to spend public money on promoting a healthy lifestyle in order to prevent illness than to spend it on treatment of people who are already ill. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#money #lifestyle #illness #treatment #people
In
this
 day and age, more and more contemporary attention has been placed on the opinion that allocating public
money
 for enhancing a robust
lifestyle
 aiming at staving diseases off is more necessary than allocating it for the treatment of people who are already ill. From my perspective, I subscribe to the former idea.
To begin
 with, by virtue of having a healthy
lifestyle
, people may reduce medical expenses, saving a great deal of
money
,
therefore
, investing public
money
 in promoting a robust one is appropriate and accurate.
For instance
, if public
money
 is spent on raising inhabitants’ awareness of the adverse health effects of smoking, they will be inclined to avoid using cigarettes and thanks to
this
, they will be less susceptible to lung cancer, so they can cut down on medical expenses.
In addition
, the best method to prevent any illness is to develop a healthy
lifestyle
.
This
 can be explained by the reason that when inhabitants may improve their well-being or have a good physique, they might build up immunity against many diseases, leading to the possibility that the risks of suffering from many illnesses will be lessened.
For instance
, the Japanese government has invested public
money
 in running health campaigns to incentivize their residents to have a healthy diet.
Thus
, nowadays, Japanese people seldom develop diseases that can put them in life-threatening situations. In conclusion, with all the reasons mentioned above, I strongly believe that it is better to spend public
money
 on promoting a robust
lifestyle
 in order to prevent illnesses.
Submitted by trangslelaidalat on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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