IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7.5

In many countries, people can eat a wide variety of food from other countries. As a result, they eat more food from other cultures rather than cuisine. Do you think the advantages of this development outweigh the disadvantages?

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The globalisation of food production and consumption has transformed the way people eat, reshaping businesses and industries worldwide. A notable trend is the increasing popularity of international cuisine, which some argue threatens local culinary traditions. From my perspective,
this
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 development offers more benefits than drawbacks. Critics claim that the dominance of foreign cuisines alters local dietary habits and undermines traditional restaurants.
For instance
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, the global expansion of fast-food chains like KFC has increased the consumption of unhealthy, processed foods. These deep-fried, calorie-rich meals have been linked to adverse effects on children's physical development.
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, the immense financial resources and advanced marketing strategies of
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 multinational companies often squeeze local businesses out of the market, leading to unemployment.
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, these issues can be mitigated through public health campaigns promoting balanced diets and international agreements that ensure fair competition.
On the other hand
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,
this
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 trend significantly enhances modern life by broadening culinary experiences, improving nutrition, and fostering cultural diversity. Access to foreign cuisines enriches daily meals and exposes people to a wider range of
flavors
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flavours
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, breaking the monotony of traditional dining.
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, international dishes often introduce unique ingredients and nutrients absent in local produce, contributing to a more balanced and diverse diet. Beyond physical health, food serves as a medium of cultural exchange, conveying the history and traditions of its origin. The global popularity of
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cuisine not only preserves these traditions but
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 fosters mutual respect and inclusivity by highlighting the value of diverse cultures. In conclusion,
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 the rise of international cuisines poses challenges,
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 as increased junk food consumption and competition for local businesses, its benefits outweigh the drawbacks. By enriching daily life, improving nutrition, and promoting cultural understanding,
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 trend represents a positive step towards a more connected and inclusive world.

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task achievement
While your essay is well-organized and clearly responds to the prompt, consider adding more specific examples to strengthen your arguments further. This can also enhance the clarity of your ideas.
coherence cohesion
Though the use of cohesive devices is effective, try to vary them more to maintain a seamless flow and avoid repetition.
task achievement
You've provided a comprehensive and clear response to the task prompt. Your arguments are well-balanced and relevant to the topic.
coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are effectively presented, framing the essay nicely and providing clear perspectives.
coherence cohesion
Your essay has a logical structure, making it easy for the reader to follow your reasoning.
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