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Writing Samples
Band 6

Throughout history, people have dreamed of living in a perfect society, but they have not agreed on what an ideal society would be like. What do you think is the most important element of a perfect society in this modern world? How can people work towards achieving an ideal society?

#history #people #society #element #world #work
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Nowadays, a great deal of attention has been paid to an ideal
society
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.
However
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, some
people
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 insist it is almost impossible to have one agreed idea of it. In
this
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 essay, I am going to discuss the essential
element
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elements
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 of a perfect
society
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 from my perspective and examine how to achieve
it
Correct pronoun usage
them
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.
To begin
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 with, I believe that a perfect city is where every member of
the
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apply
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society
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 have equal rights to pursue their dreams and develop potentials.
For example
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, every youngster should have equal rights to
recieve
Correct your spelling
receive
 enough education. In fact, one in seven youngsters
live
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lives
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under
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in
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the
Correct article usage
apply
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poverty in Japan.
Nevertheless
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, they are not inferior to others,
Correct your spelling
they
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the
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they
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 are disrespected and work for unstable occupations,
such
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 as part-time jobs.
Likewise
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,
gender
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 equality must be achieved.
People
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 should not be judged by their
gender
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, and men and women should receive equal payments for equal tasks. On top of that, there are two ways to achieve
this
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,
Firstly
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,
people
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 have better create more places where the younger generations can study without money.
For instance
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,
a
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an
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 NPO called
KATARIBA
Correct your spelling
KATARINA
 in Japan provides free educational opportunities for children to solve educational inequality.
Furthermore
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, it is
also
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 effective to prepare more scholarships.
In addition
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 to
this
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,
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gender
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the gender
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 gap is often seen
at
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in
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workplace
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the workplace
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.
Hence
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 promoting changes at
office
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the office
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 may be effective.
For example
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, the number of female managers should be increased, because men dominant at present. To conclude, I believe
people
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 have equal rights in a perfect
society
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, including education and
gender
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 equality. To achieve
this
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, promoting free education and encouraging women in
workplace
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the workplace
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 are
vital
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a vital
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 factor.
Submitted by maho.140126 on

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • equality
  • inclusivity
  • socioeconomic status
  • empowers
  • critical thinking
  • innovative solutions
  • legal system
  • justice
  • environmental sustainability
  • sustainable living
  • civic engagement
  • governance
  • address the needs
  • effective
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