Some people think that hard work helps in achieving financial success, while others think it is not the only thing which contributes to financial success. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

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Despite the fact that it has been argued that
success
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in finance is achieved by hard
work
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, other people consider that working hard is not the only criterion leading to financial
success
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. I completely agree with the latter idea as apart from hard performance, other elements
such
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as luck and investment skills should
also
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be taken into account. On the one hand, working hard contributes to the accomplishment of financial freedom. The reason is that employees who are willing to invest their leisure time into
work
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not only are able to earn an extra salary but
also
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gain more promotion opportunities,
thus
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attaining economical freedom faster.
For instance
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, most companies prefer to entrust their staffs who pay thorough attention to
work
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with crucial tasks, so those staffs normally need to
work
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beyond predetermined hours,
thus
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it is easier for them to achieve financial well being than others.
On the other hand
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, some individuals, including me, suggest that other elements should
also
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be considered to achieve economic
success
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.
This
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is because there are too many
hard working
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hard-working
show examples
people around the world, luck and excellent investment knowledge sometimes are
also
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tricky points to decide how much money you earn. As an illustration, in the stock market, investors always said that
although
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you are able to spend all your time and energy on stocks, the situation that you lose all your money always happens.
This
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is because if you want to earn money by investing, you should be equipped with a little luck and smart investment ideas. In conclusion,
although
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people vary in their opinion about what factors will promote financial
success
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, I am of the opinion that
in addition
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to hard
work
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, other factors should
also
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be considered.
Submitted by strawberry.guan on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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