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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

Several languages are in danger of extinction because they are spoken by a very small number of people. Some people say that governments should public money on saving these language, while others believe that would be a waste of money. Discuss both these views and give your opinion.

#languages #danger #extinction #people #governments #money #language #waste
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Some argue that governments should allocate funds to save endangered
languages
,
while
 others believe it would be a waste. To preserve cultural heritage, endangered
languages
 need to be protected. Losing a
language
 means losing unique knowledge, traditions, and ways of thinking. In recent years, the preservation of endangered
languages
 has become a contentious issue, with some advocating for government funding and others calling it a waste of resources. In World War II, the Navajo
language
 played an essential role in producing an unbreakable code, supporting the argument that
languages
 are invaluable cultural assets. Indigenous children,
such
 as those in northern Europe’s Sami population, can
also
 perform better academically when taught ancestral
languages
.
Therefore
, preserving endangered
languages
 is a worthwhile
endeavor
Change the spelling
endeavour
show examples
 that should receive public support.
This
 could be done through initiatives
such
 as
language
 classes or cultural immersion programs.
Additionally
, governments should prioritize the protection of indigenous
languages
 in their policies.
While
 endangered
languages
 hold cultural significance, critics argue that resources allocated towards
this
 cause may need to be more practical. Prioritizing minority
languages
 diverts funding from critical areas,
such
 as combating poverty, improving healthcare, strengthening education, and enhancing infrastructure.
Moreover
, in a globalized context, linguistic diversity is seen as a barrier to efficient communication, potentially hampering international trade and complicating interactions
for
Change preposition
between
show examples
 students and
travelers
Change the spelling
travellers
show examples
 abroad.
For instance
, a Korean tourist in China may need help
due to
language
 differences. These critics suggest that a unified
language
 could streamline global interactions, asserting that governments should focus on more pressing societal needs and questioning the priority given to
language
 preservation in the face of other urgent global challenges. Preserving endangered
languages
 is equally important to me as prioritizing essential services for citizens’ well-being.
Language
 is a means of communication and a reflection of culture. Keeping endangered
languages
 alive enriches our global tapestry of diversity and promotes mutual respect between linguistic communities. I support preserving these threatened
languages
 with public funds as part of our collective responsibility.
Submitted by aamenis on

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Task Response
Ensure a more balanced discussion of both viewpoints throughout the essay. While your arguments are persuasive, aiming for an equal examination of both perspectives before arriving at your conclusion will improve task achievement.
Task Response
Consider exploring other perspectives in more depth to add complexity to your argument. Introducing counterarguments or considering the implications of proposed solutions could enhance the depth of your analysis.
Coherence and Cohesion
Your essay has a clear structure with a distinct introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion, which aids readability and cohesion. To further enhance clarity, consider signposting your main points more explicitly within each paragraph.
Coherence and Cohesion
Use a wider variety of linking phrases to demonstrate relationships between ideas while maintaining logical progression. This can enrich the connectivity of ideas and support a better flow throughout the essay.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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