Some people say that music is a good way of bringing people of cultures and ages together. To what extend do you agree and disagree

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Introduction

It is proposed by certain individuals that

music

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is an adequate way of bringing

people

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from different cultural backgrounds and ages together. I, completely agree with the aforementioned notion, reasons for the same are explicated in succeeding paragraphs.

Body paragraph 1

The predominant reason for seconding the proposal is

music

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has the power to heal everything psychologically.

In addition

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this

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music

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has the potential to uplift the mood of

people

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which eventually helps in the bonding of

people

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For instance

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, one person is sad due to an unknown reason and his or her friend from different culture turns on his favourite melody to uplift his or her mood.

Nevertheless

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, elderly

people

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who want to connect with their offsprings use

music

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as a medium on different occasions like birthdays to make them happy.

Thus

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music

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plays as a common ground for

people

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of distinct cultures and ages.

Body paragraph 2

Moreover

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music

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plays a vital role in human's life, especially for Indian

people

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. As India is a diverse country and known for the most number of festivals celebrated by

people

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of the country. So, without

music

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some the festival will become void,

thus

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cannot be celebrated fully. To exemplify, the famous festival Ganesh Chaturthi cannot be imagined without

music

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, as it is one of the mandatory requirements of that festival.

Therefore

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music

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injects life into celebrations and helps in bringing

people

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of different societies and ages together.

Conclusion

To conclude, the melody has the power to fill national gaps and

also

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can alleviate generation barriers. All in all, what is ,more glorious than the united world and solving cross-cultural problems.

Kashish Bhatia

Jun 8, 2021

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8
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

263 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

universal language
evoke
connect
diverse audiences
cultural exchange
generational gaps
shared experiences
unifying force

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