Some people say that music is a good way of bringing people of cultures and ages together. To what extend do you agree and disagree

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It is proposed by certain individuals that

music

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is an adequate way of bringing

people

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from different cultural backgrounds and ages together. I, completely agree with the aforementioned notion, reasons for the same are explicated in succeeding paragraphs. The predominant reason for seconding the proposal is

music

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has the power to heal everything psychologically.

In addition

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this

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music

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has the potential to uplift the mood of

people

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which eventually helps in the bonding of

people

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For instance

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, one person is sad due to an unknown reason and his or her friend from different culture turns on his favourite melody to uplift his or her mood.

Nevertheless

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, elderly

people

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who want to connect with their offsprings use

music

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as a medium on different occasions like birthdays to make them happy.

Thus

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music

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plays as a common ground for

people

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of distinct cultures and ages.

Moreover

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music

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plays a vital role in human's life, especially for Indian

people

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. As India is a diverse country and known for the most number of festivals celebrated by

people

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of the country. So, without

music

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some the festival will become void,

thus

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cannot be celebrated fully. To exemplify, the famous festival Ganesh Chaturthi cannot be imagined without

music

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, as it is one of the mandatory requirements of that festival.

Therefore

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music

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injects life into celebrations and helps in bringing

people

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of different societies and ages together. To conclude, the melody has the power to fill national gaps and

also

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can alleviate generation barriers. All in all, what is ,more glorious than the united world and solving cross-cultural problems.

Submitted by Kashish Bhatia on Tue Jun 08 2021

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8
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meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

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Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

263 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

universal language
evoke
connect
diverse audiences
cultural exchange
generational gaps
shared experiences
unifying force

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