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Writing Samples
Band 7

It if often said that retirement is the happiest time of a person’s life. How far do you agree with this view?

#retirement #time #person’s #life
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Some commentators believe that
people
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 often expected to abandon their occupation and unwind for the rest of their life.
However
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, it seems to me that in modern society, elderly
people
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 are not really ready for
this
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 isolation as well as
retirement
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 is not actually the most contented period of a person’s life, and I will explain the reasons here.
Firstly
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, retired
people
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 may struggle with the majority of
health
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 problems. When they get older, no matter how optimistic they are, how carefully they try to do exercises on a daily basis to keep fit, their
health
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 will unavoidably decline.
This
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 besets their mobility, their capability to interact with other
people
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. Another negative element is that retired
people
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 are able to be isolated from everyone around them.
For example
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, I have seen my uncle who is going into depression after leaving his employment because of the fact that his wife and his daughters are busy with their hectic schedule,
moreover
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, his grandchildren are
also
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 busy with their school and extracurricular activities.
Therefore
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, he fell into the world of isolation, and gradually
this
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 has a detrimental effect on his mental and physical
health
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. For those reasons, it is an undeniable fact that after
retirement
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,
people
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 have to be faced with a wide range of difficulties. It is true that there are some positive aspects of
retirement
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,
people
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 are able to spend time to pursue their interests or have a long vacation. In spite of
this
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, for many elderly
people
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, the detrimental effects outweigh the merits of
retirement
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. To sum up, with the problems of
health
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 and being isolated, it would appear that
retirement
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 is not the most contented time of life.
Submitted by caomyphuong3004 on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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