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Writing Samples
Band 6

Discuss both views & give your opinion essay, Topic: Some people think that parents should teach children how to be good members of the society. Others, however, believe that school is the place to learn this. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

#topic #people #parents #children #members #society #school #place
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There is an ongoing debate over whether
children
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 should be taught about being civic-minded individuals by either
parents
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 or
schools
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. More and more people claim that
parents
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 ought to educate their
children
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,
although
Linking Words
 I think that school is the place to learn. On the one hand, proponents of the idea that
parents
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 should be responsible for their teens believe they learn their actions from their
parents
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. Meaning that
,
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apply
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 the parent should nurture their kids in terms of their attitude toward their peers or friends. If
children
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 are not reinforced in good
behaviors
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behaviours
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, they are able to tend to crime when in a desperate situation.
Furthermore
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, the parent might influence their
children
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's social development and decision-making abilities.
For instance
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,
children
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 can face some risks that change their lives and they do not acquire the consequences, at that time,
parents
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 might teach them thorough real-life examples and aid to grapple the problem.
On the other hand
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, a school is an integral part of the growing youngsters for being the responsible citizens. One of the obvious reasons is that
schools
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 provide an environment where
children
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 might learn the norms and laws of the country.
This
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, in turn, is a major contributor factor to the social growth of the
children
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.
Additionally
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,
schools
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 play a significant role in their future lives. As an example, teachers give group projects in order to get a grade,
as a result
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; pupils interact with each other and it fosters not only interpersonal skills
,
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apply
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 but
also
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 teamwork ability. In conclusion,
while
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children
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 teach their
children
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 behaviors and judgment skills, I am of the opinion that
schools
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 allow
children
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 to acquire social norms, and
also
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 improve some abilities which
is
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are
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 essential
on
Change preposition
in
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 their
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further
Correct word choice
future
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 lives.
Submitted by ilkin.abdullaev04 on

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supporting examples
Ensure the examples provided directly support the point being made. This helps strengthen your argument and makes it more convincing.
clear comprehensive ideas
Further articulate your opinion to make it clear and comprehensive. It should be evident throughout the essay, not just in the introduction and conclusion.
introduction conclusion
The essay presents a clear introduction and conclusion, framing the discussion well.
logical structure
Logical structure is adhered to, with each paragraph discussing a distinct viewpoint clearly.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • moral development
  • primary educators
  • personalize lessons
  • reinforce good behaviors
  • structured environment
  • social norms
  • socialization opportunities
  • qualified educators
  • diverse group of peers
  • social skills
  • teamwork
  • practical scenarios
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