IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6

Some young people are sent to prison for minor crimes. What are the advantages and disadvantages of such imprisonment?

#people #prison #crimes #imprisonment
Jailing the committers of minor crimes is chosen as a punishment and there is an essential percentage of young people among them. That has been done in hope that the time spent in
prison
 will prompt them to get back to the right way and prevent them from committing the bigger ones.
However
,
this
 approach decreases the chances of being hired in the labour market in the future. The youngsters who may
otherwise
 become serious criminals may be deterred by the thought of
prison
. Future criminals may choose to act in a different manner or make different choices if there is a solid understanding of the consequences. The one who saw
prison
 from a closer viewpoint probably will decide to avoid criminal activity and will attempt to follow the law as closely as possible to avoid returning to
prison
. In
this
 aspect, the
prison
 system is effective in rehabilitating prisoners and creating responsible citizens.
This
 effectiveness is proven by statistics which states that only 2 per cent of previous offenders ate age 16-25 end up back in jail. The main disadvantage of the young who have served time in
prison
 is succeeding in seeking a decent job.
Although
 there are services that help prisoners to find work before they leave
prison
, some may have difficulty keeping a job while others may have difficulty finding a job. Young ex-prisoners with high-level skills and abilities may end up working in menial jobs because they are discriminated against if they apply for anything higher.
Furthermore
, many offenders may find that they have become deskilled while serving their sentence. According to the US Bureau of Labor Statistics two-thirds of men who were incarcerated for six months at age 19 are hired approximately twice slower and less compared to ones who had never been arrested. In conclusion, being locked up for inessential offences reduces the likelihood of committing bigger crimes ,
however
, it influences the
further
 employment process negatively
Submitted by davit.khudaverdyan.96 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
What to do next:
Look at other essays: