IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6.5

Some people think that watching sport is a waste of time during leisure time. ‎To what extent do you agree or disagree?‎

#people #sport #waste #time #leisure #‎to
It is a general perception that watching sport is a complete waste of free time that ‎can
otherwise
 be utilized in other important works. I am not wholly in agreement ‎with the above-said view. In an essay, I will focus on how watching
sports
 helps ‎develop a human being by giving examples.‎‏ ‏ We cannot ignore the fact that playing
sports
 inculcates the moral values of a ‎sportsperson. A player tends to be more self-disciplined, focussed and is often ‎good at teamwork. They know the importance of unity. The same applies to the ‎who are watching it irrespective of whether they are playing it.
For example
, ‎when someone watches cricket or, say, hockey, they do not just see the cricket or ‎hockey being played, but
also
 how the teammates are making decisions as a team, ‎working for each of supporting each other, and many more.
Conclusion
Change preposition
In conclusion
show examples
: watching ‎
sports
 can result in a person acquiring better management skills in their ‎workplace and day-to-day life.‎‏ ‏
However
, it is always a better idea to participate in
sports
 and experience it ‎individually to beat the situation one faces rather than passive.
For example
, if a ‎sportsman is playing a particular acquire, it prepares them to deal with everyday ‎life problems in a comparatively easy and smooth way. To support my idea of ‎active participation, we can consider other activities and hobbies we can get ‎involved in,
such
 as playing musical instruments and doing r enhance the skill.‎‏ ‏ So in conclusion, I would say watching
sports
 have many advantages,
although
 it ‎is not as well as actively participating in it.
Nevertheless
, at the same time, it is a ‎lot more beneficial given the other unproductive works people tend to indulge in ‎during their leisure time like watching tv soaps.‎
Submitted by arash.dejkameh on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: