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Band 7

Nowadays a growing number of people with health problems are trying alternative medicine and treatments instead of visiting usual doctor Do you think this is posetive or negative development?

#people #health #alternative #medicine #treatments #doctor #posetive #development
It is crucial for citizens to recognize the extensive training that doctors undergo, often spending many years studying medicine and completing rigorous technical courses.
This
 expertise is essential because individuals without medical training may inadvertently endanger others'
health
 through misguided actions.
For example
, if a woman experiences chest pain and her son administers codeine, he could be overlooking a serious condition,
such
 as a heart attack.
Such
 misjudgments can have dire consequences. Regular check-ups with a healthcare provider are important for everyone, as they can help identify issues like vitamin deficiencies or other
health
 concerns that may not be immediately apparent.
Additionally
, taking vitamins or supplements that the body does not need can lead to
health
 problems rather than prevent them. Understanding appropriate medication dosages is another critical aspect of healthcare that varies based on several factors, including age, weight, height, and gender.
For instance
, when infants have a cold and fever, a doctor will first assess their weight before recommending a specific dosage of medication. Administering too much can be harmful, especially given that the physiological responses of older adults differ significantly from those of younger individuals.
Therefore
, only knowledgeable professionals should determine the correct dosages for others. In conclusion, it is shortsighted for ordinary citizens to offer medical advice or self-medicate without proper knowledge. The best approach to addressing
health
 issues is to seek assistance from qualified healthcare professionals. We must prioritize our
health
 by respecting our bodies and investing time in regular medical consultations.
Submitted by mozhdeh_yousefi on

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coherence cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph includes a clear topic sentence to enhance the logical flow.
task achievement
Consider including contrasting viewpoints to show balanced consideration of the topic.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a clear and strong conclusion that ties back to the main argument effectively.
task achievement
The response is complete and directly addresses the task by focusing on the implications of alternative medicine versus conventional medical approaches.
task achievement
Relevant and specific examples, such as the reference to administering codeine during chest pain, bolster the argument.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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