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Band 6.5

Some people hold the opinion that children should obey certain rules made by teachers and parents. Others, however, feel that these rules only limit children’s growth and impact their adult life later. Discuss both opinions and provide your own view.

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Since time immemorial, different guidelines and
rules
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 have been being established by the guardians and teachers of
children
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 in order to lead their
life
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 smoothly, bringing some negative repercussions as well. Resultantly, whereas some individuals claim that these
rules
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 have detrimental effects on
children
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’s present and future lives, others contend that they should abide by
rules
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, enforced by their well-wishers so as to bring success in their lives. I, too, wholeheartedly feel that parent’s and teachers’ guidance would help
children
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 remove obstacles during their
life
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 journey and build a successful career. Draconian
rule
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, made by the patrons of offspring sometimes have serious consequences on
children
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’s mental growth down to not having equal ability to adapt, causing problems in the adult age
also
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. To be more precise, a law or
rule
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 is created for all, but the adaptation capability is not the same for all
children
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.
Thus
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 when a child cannot adjust to a
rule
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, he or she usually suffers from inferiority, and
this
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 type of thinking later causes many problems, namely, shyness, not open to the public easily, to name but a few in the career
life
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. To cite an example, an empirical study in 20010 reveals that 20% of professionals cannot do well in their job in that they cannot express themselves properly, and those professionals’ mental growth has not been developed due to the strict
rules
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 in their childhood. Plausible though abiding by
rules
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 is not easy and have some downsides, it can be solved by proper counselling. If once a child understands the benefits of guidelines, he or she surely abides by those
rules
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 spontaneously.
In other words
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, inasmuch as
rules
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 are made for the well-being of
children
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, it is imperative to make them comprehend that those guidelines will lead to fulfilling their dreams in lives. To exemplify, in Japan, when a new
rule
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 is imposed, the merits of that
rule
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 is clearly manifested to students so that they can easily accept that.
Hence
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,
children
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 should obviously obey
rules
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 made by their patrons. In essence, even though strict
rules
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 contain the mental growth of a child, it can be mitigated by proper counselling that can bring success in later
life
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. Eventually, I buttress the stand of obeying
rules
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 by
children
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 so as to bring prosperity in their
life
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.

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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