The growing number of overweight people is putting a burden on the healthcare system in an efforts to deal with the issues involved. Some people think that the best way to solve this problem is to introduce more physical education lessons in the school curriculum. To what extend do you agree or disagree?
The increasing number of overweight people
are
putting a burden on the healthcare system to deal with several issues involved. Some people argue that the best way to tackle Correct subject-verb agreement
is
this
problem is to introduce more lessons
of
physical Change preposition
in
education
in the school
curriculum
. I personally agree with this
statement because it will help to encourage students
to take part
in physical exercise
and it will increase awareness about physical exercise
.
Introducing more physical education
lessons
in the school
curriculum
encourages students
to take part
in physical exercise
. Students
will study physical education
lessons
and take part
in physical exercise
as an important part
of their curriculum
. If students
perform physical exercise
every day as a part
of their studies, it will eventually improve their health. For example
, many secondary school
students
in Bangladesh take part
in physical exercise
at least one hour in their school
every day and therefore
, they do not suffer from obesity and other health issues.
Moreover
, if physical education
is introduced as a part
of school
Add an article
the school
curriculum
, it will increase awareness among the school
students
about the importance of physical exercise
. At early stages of their lives, these students
will understand the importance of physical exercise
and they will remain health-conscious for the rest of their lives. For instance
, in Mumbai, India, around 76% of students
are health-conscious because they study physical exercise
lessons
as a compulsory part
of their studies.
In conclusion, I personally believe that physical exercise
lessons
should be added to the school
curriculum
because it will encourage students
to take part
in exercise
, and will increase awareness about their health.Submitted by rahman_rehana on
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task response
In the introduction, you clearly present your viewpoint, which aligns well with the task requirements. Ensure to maintain this clarity throughout the essay.
task response
Consider providing a few more detailed examples or statistics to strengthen your arguments and make your essay more persuasive.
coherence cohesion
Although the paragraphs are clear and organized, using a variety of cohesive devices could enhance the flow between ideas.
coherence cohesion
The logical sequence of your essay is good. Ensure each paragraph directly supports your thesis statement to maintain strong cohesion.
coherence cohesion
The essay maintains a clear structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion, which enhances readability.
task response
You have presented a balanced view with well-defined points that support your main argument. This demonstrates effective task response.
task response
The use of specific examples from Bangladesh and India helps to substantiate your points.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
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