IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

Some people think that a sense of competition in children should be encouraged. Others believe that children who are taught to co-operate rather than compete become more useful adults. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

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How to reduce crime rates in society either sentencing a prolonged jail term or adopting other methods is divided people into two;
however
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, I personally consider which methods to be adopted is exclusively determined by the gravity and background of the crime.
This
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 essay shall explain not only two sides of
arguments
Correct article usage
the arguments
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 but my view followed by
summary
Correct article usage
a summary
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 too. On the one side, those supporting penalising culprits argue that
this
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 would create a feeling of fear among wrongdoers.
In other words
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, when sentencing to a
life
Use synonyms
 term, they , hardly, to be released back to society in their
life
Use synonyms
.
For instance
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, many convicts, who are living
jails
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in jails
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 now, have advised potential culprits unless they have committing mistakes, they will not end up
in
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apply
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having a terrible
life
Use synonyms
 term.
Conversely
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,
although
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 sentenced to death seems to be an extra
burdern
Correct your spelling
burden
 to taxpayers,
this
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 can usually peace in cities.
On the other hand
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, opponents advocate that introducing parallel initiatives would be much better. Being introduced
tp
Correct your spelling
to
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 community service
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 could encourage a rethinking regarding the offence they have committed: the authority may benefit from the
upaid
Correct your spelling
unpaid
 work because these workers need not
to
Remove the word
apply
show examples
be paid as
this
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 is a punishment. In Kerala, to illustrate
this
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, there are some young boys who
violeted
Correct your spelling
violated
violate
traffic
Correct article usage
the traffic
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 rule was served in a community
wellfare
Correct your spelling
welfare
 centre,
instead
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 of
prosecuting
Correct pronoun usage
themprosecuting
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.
Thus
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, it is evident that the method was proven to be successful. By looking
both
Change preposition
at both
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perspective
Change to a plural noun
perspectives
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, I think that minor crimes can be punished by offering volunteer services, but categories,
such
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 as terrorists, murders,
espinages
Correct your spelling
espionage
 must be given corporal punishment, so the government may require a small fund to handle
this
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 than
life
Use synonyms
 imprisonments. In conclusion,
this
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 essay discussed which method of penalty can limit the number of
crimals
Correct your spelling
criminals
. One group supports long custody, and others prefer another method, but I firmly think it should be based
of
Change the preposition
on
show examples
type
Add an article
the type
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 of crimes and criminal history. It is vital that the government should make an
approriate
Correct your spelling
appropriate
 decision on
this
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 matter.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • encourage
  • compete
  • cooperate
  • useful
  • adults
  • skills
  • motivation
  • drive
  • resilience
  • failure
  • workplace
  • empathy
  • social skills
  • reduce
  • stress
  • pressure
  • balanced
  • approach
  • ideal
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