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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

There is no doubt that globalisation has benefited the world by bringing together people, business and nations. People who criticise it stand in the way of progress. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

In the 21st century,
due to
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 the advancement,
globalisation
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 has affected almost all sectors around the world.
Accordingly
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, many opportunities have been created by bringing
people
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 from all countries, businesses and regions.
Although
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 there are some
people
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 who are against the idea of
globalisation
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, a vast area of its pros cannot be overlooked.
This
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 essay will support the current trends of
globalisation
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. First and foremost, if we look around us, there are so many things which are the result of
globalisation
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.
For example
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, consider the ZOOM platform.
Initially
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, it was created to communicate business ideas to other business
people
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,
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;
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however
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, during the COVID-19 pandemic, almost all sectors , especially educational institutions, used
this
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 platform to continue academic activities. Students who benefited from that shift may be from the families who opposed the concept of
globalisation
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.
Thus
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, it's every individual's responsibility to participate rather than block the way of progress. Another reason why I support the notion is that ,
as a result
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 of
globalisation
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 and advancement, the lifestyle of
people
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 around the world has changed.
Due to
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globalisation
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, pharmaceutical companies have been able to find a cure for diseases which were once considered incurable , like Tuberculosis ,
due to
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 the exchange of research findings. If developed countries did not share their drugs and vaccines with underdeveloped countries, a lot of citizens would have died. In conclusion, it should be noted that the world has turned into a global village
due to
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 advancement and
globalisation
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. It should be the duty of every citizen to participate in working towards a better future rather than criticising the current trends.

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task achievement
Try to provide a clearer thesis statement in your introduction to better outline your main argument.
coherence and cohesion
Ensure smooth transitions between ideas to improve the flow of your essay.
task achievement
Use more specific examples to support your points, which can strengthen your argument.
content
Good use of relevant examples to support your points.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • international trade
  • cultural homogenization
  • multinational corporations
  • sustainable development
  • economic disparities
  • technological advancement
  • cultural exchange
  • scrutinize
  • ethics
  • innovation
  • connectivity
  • protectionism
  • outsourcing
  • free market
  • trade liberalization
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