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Band 7

In many countries children are engaged in some kind of paid work. Some people regard this as completely wrong, while others consider it as valuable work experience, important for learning and taking responsibility. What are your opinions on this?

#countries #children #work #people #responsibility
Nobody can deny that some careers are valuable for
children
, at least in cases in which they can gain experiences and be paid reasonably.
However
, it is by no means clear that
children
 should be encouraged to have a job.
This
 essay will discuss both of these facets as well as present my own opinion. On the one hand, doing jobs at a young age allows financial independence.
This
 means that
children
 will no longer have to rely solely on their parents or guardians as they will be able to afford their daily life by themselves, reducing financial burdens
such
 as university funding on their parents.
In addition
 to
this
, these
children
 will advance swiftly in their chosen career paths. Working for an establishment at younger age tends to make them know within that company and
therefore
 employable
subsequently
such
 that in a case they go back to complete their studies and after graduation, they already have greater chances to be employed back to that company.
On the other hand
, paid employment for adolescents could make them lose control
on
Change preposition
of
show examples
 spending.
This
 is because unlimited access to money can promote buying unawareness,
hence
 impaired saving culture.
For instance
, a survey in a popular university showed that the majority of those students that drive luxury cars are not those from wealthy backgrounds,
instead
 those that worked at younger ages while growing up.
Secondly
, should those
children
 keep making an effort on their work, their education will be under-performed. Most times, they have to work while studying and
this
 could lead to reduced attention span in matters relating to their studies,
subsequently
, they may feel bored in learning and give up. In my opinion, I agree that
children
 should completely concentrate on their studies
instead
 of working as it's crucial for their future.
Submitted by Eteacher on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Child labor
  • Exploitation
  • Minimum age
  • Work experience
  • Survival
  • Taking responsibility
  • Education
  • Poverty
  • Legal restrictions
  • Physical toll
  • Psychological impact
  • Cultural perceptions
  • International conventions
  • Economic impact
  • Work-study programs
  • Skilled labor
  • Unskilled labor
  • Developing economies
  • Moral implications
  • Professional development
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