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Band 6

Some people think its ok to benefit from animals, while others think they should not be exploited. Discuss both sides and give your opinion

#people #ok #benefit #animals
Currently, a controversial trend is being discussed on how we treat
animals
. Whereas some individuals believe we need to use them in our
favor
Change the spelling
favour
show examples
, others find it not appealing to their beliefs. I tend to agree that in order to advance as
humans
 we have to do unpleasant acts sometimes. On the one hand, using
animals
 for
humans
 advantage is something
pre historical
Correct your spelling
prehistorical
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,
first
 for
food
,
then
 protection and currently for science as well.
For instance
, several kinds of newly developed
medicins
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medicines
show examples
 and vaccines are tested in creatures with similar composition as
humans
 because scientists do not know the side effects or if even
them
Correct pronoun usage
they
show examples
 work in order to save mankind from diseases.
Therefore
, it is crucial to use
animals
in
Change preposition
for
show examples
 our benefit.
On the other hand
, using them as livestock and not considering
as
Correct pronoun usage
them as
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 living beings is cruel. Take cattle farms as an example.
Although
,
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apply
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 they are fed, have
a
Correct article usage
apply
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shelter and treated against
verms
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firms
germs
 and parasites, their only purpose is to
procriate
Correct your spelling
procreate
 and be killed to serve as
food
 to
world
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the world
show examples
 population.
Thus
, taking the freedom and
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free will
show examples
freewill
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free will
show examples
 of any kind of living creature is dreadful and wicked. As far as I am concerned, humankind is on top of
food
Add an article
the food
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 chain, and in order to go
further
 and achieve more in
life
Add a comma
,life
show examples
 we need to exploit
animals
. As a science man myself, I believe that to develop new technologies we need to test
it
Correct pronoun usage
them
show examples
 before human consumption. To illustrate, testing
medicins
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medicine
show examples
 in
humans
 without knowing
if
Correct your spelling
it
show examples
 could kill us is just a
sily
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silly
sly
 move. In conclusion, even being cruel and inhumane to exploit
animals
, the outcome is
benefical
Correct your spelling
beneficial
. I believe we have to take advantage of our position on the
food
 chain.
Furthermore
, to keep progressing humankind needs to use every
materials
Change to a singular noun
material
show examples
 they can afford.
Submitted by dieego_gutierrez on

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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