IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

Some people think its ok to benefit from animals, while others think they should not be exploited. Discuss both sides and give your opinion

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Currently, a controversial trend is being discussed on how we treat
animals
Use synonyms
. Whereas some individuals believe we need to use them in our
favor
Change the spelling
favour
show examples
, others find it not appealing to their beliefs. I tend to agree that in order to advance as
humans
Use synonyms
 we have to do unpleasant acts sometimes. On the one hand, using
animals
Use synonyms
 for
humans
Use synonyms
 advantage is something
pre historical
Correct your spelling
prehistorical
show examples
,
first
Linking Words
 for
food
Use synonyms
,
then
Linking Words
 protection and currently for science as well.
For instance
Linking Words
, several kinds of newly developed
medicins
Correct your spelling
medicines
show examples
 and vaccines are tested in creatures with similar composition as
humans
Use synonyms
 because scientists do not know the side effects or if even
them
Correct pronoun usage
they
show examples
 work in order to save mankind from diseases.
Therefore
Linking Words
, it is crucial to use
animals
Use synonyms
in
Change preposition
for
show examples
 our benefit.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, using them as livestock and not considering
as
Correct pronoun usage
them as
show examples
 living beings is cruel. Take cattle farms as an example.
Although
Linking Words
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 they are fed, have
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
shelter and treated against
verms
Correct your spelling
firms
germs
 and parasites, their only purpose is to
procriate
Correct your spelling
procreate
 and be killed to serve as
food
Use synonyms
 to
world
Add an article
the world
show examples
 population.
Thus
Linking Words
, taking the freedom and
Correct your spelling
free will
show examples
freewill
Correct your spelling
free will
show examples
 of any kind of living creature is dreadful and wicked. As far as I am concerned, humankind is on top of
Use synonyms
food
Add an article
the food
show examples
 chain, and in order to go
further
Linking Words
 and achieve more in
life
Add a comma
,life
show examples
 we need to exploit
animals
Use synonyms
. As a science man myself, I believe that to develop new technologies we need to test
it
Correct pronoun usage
them
show examples
 before human consumption. To illustrate, testing
medicins
Correct your spelling
medicine
show examples
 in
humans
Use synonyms
 without knowing
if
Correct your spelling
it
show examples
 could kill us is just a
sily
Correct your spelling
silly
sly
 move. In conclusion, even being cruel and inhumane to exploit
animals
Use synonyms
, the outcome is
benefical
Correct your spelling
beneficial
. I believe we have to take advantage of our position on the
food
Use synonyms
 chain.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, to keep progressing humankind needs to use every
materials
Change to a singular noun
material
show examples
 they can afford.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: