Topic 2: These days many families move to other countries for work. Some people believe that the children in these families benefit from this move. However, others believe that it makes life more difficult for the children. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

#topic #families #move #countries #work #people #children #benefit #life

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?

Nowadays, more and more children move from their home country to another

due to

Linking Words

their parents or caretakers changing workplaces.

While

Linking Words

many believe that the decision to migrate could be beneficial for the

kids

Use synonyms

, others disagree and think that

this

Linking Words

kind of huge shift might lead to a harder living situation for them. From my perspective,

while

Linking Words

considering both views, I see that moving countries

Change preposition

at in

show examples

Correct your spelling

show examples

early age may be causing more good than harm. Environmental transformation could have a number of benefits to youngsters.

Firstly

Linking Words

, they will meet new people in their destination

while

Linking Words

still having connections to their previous friends from their hometown. Thanks to

this

Linking Words

, these

kids

Use synonyms

will

then

Linking Words

have more connections--a global one in fact.

Secondly

Linking Words

, being in a whole new place means the young will be introduced to another culture and habits.

For instance

Linking Words

, they can learn more than one language, celebrate people with different upbringings, and tolerate differences.

Therefore

Linking Words

, these

kids

Use synonyms

will have much richer cultural knowledge and better adaptation skills.

Nevertheless

Linking Words

, immigration for young children might have several downsides. As a matter of fact,

such

Linking Words

a big transformation could definitely give them a sense of confusion. It is not a surprise if some of them are facing serious problems

such

Linking Words

as identity crises throughout their childhood. Even

further

Linking Words

, it is possible for them to be isolated by their peers, whether it is in their school or neighbourhood. In fact, a recent study found that newcomers in a group of

kids

Use synonyms

have a significantly higher risk of getting bullied by

the

Correct article usage

show examples

circle of associates. Yet of course,

this

Linking Words

is not always going to be the case for everyone.

To conclude

Linking Words

, if parents are giving serious consideration to the psychological well-being of their

kids

Use synonyms

, moving to other countries could eventually bring positive impact to them including global connection and diverse cultural understanding.

Submitted by lidyaprmata on Tue Jul 09 2024

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement

While your essay addresses the topic well, try to provide a more balanced discussion. Giving equal weight to both views will strengthen your argument.

task achievement

Work on elaborating your main points with more specific examples and evidence. This will make your arguments more convincing.

coherence cohesion

Pay attention to the logical flow of your essay. Ensure each paragraph transitions smoothly to the next, connecting ideas in a clear manner.

coherence cohesion

Make sure to restate your opinion clearly in the conclusion to reinforce your stance.

task achievement

Your introduction clearly outlines both points of view, setting up the discussion effectively.

coherence cohesion

You have followed a logical structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion, which helps the reader follow your argument.

coherence cohesion

Your language and vocabulary usage are strong, enhancing the readability of your essay.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

12
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

5 paragraphs

307 words

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

Topic Vocabulary:

Migration
Globalization
Opportunities
Diversity
Assimilation
Adaptability
Language acquisition
Education
Career prospects
Social connections
Isolation
Cultural identity
Support systems
Parental guidance
Ambiguous

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

5.5
band
It is important for all towns and cities to have large public outdoor places like squares and parks. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?
Town and citiy arrangement is tend to be more and more complicated, since the use of an area is getting various. To some reasons, the government choose to put some large squares or parks, which attracts many arguements about the importance and the nessecity of setting up such places. I absolutely agree that it is very meaningful to include those public use space in city or town planning.
5.5
band
The rise of social media has affected personal relationships and society as a whole. Do the advantages of using social media for communication outweigh the disadvantages?
The increase of social media has influenced society and individual relationships. The author believes that the benefits of keeping contact with each other and having opportunities to make new friends can outweigh the drawback of lack of communication among people.
4
band
Many wild animals have become endangered. Why has this happened? What can governments do to stop this from continuing to happen?
The past few decades have witnessed a dramatic decline in a large number of wild animal species . This essay will look at some primary causes and propose a number of possible solutions that the government can take to tackle the problem.
4.5
band
Some people think that modern tecchnology is making people more sociable, while others think it is making them less sociable Discuss both views and give your opinion
People's attitudes toward recent technology have been a debatable matter among people. Some of them believe that this new approach has helped members of the society to be more sociable. Others, however, find that modern technology has a negative effect of driving people to be introverted. Thus, this essay will discuss both views, and then I will state my personal opinion regarding this matter.
6.5
band
Some people believe that teenagers should be required to do unpaid community work in their free time. This can benefit teenagers and the community as well. To wat extent do you agree or disagree.
The young generation and their contributions to society are vital for the future of the community. So, some people who prone to believe that youngsters should be encouraged to initiate work. I think that it promoting will become well both their work life and they bring to benefits community.

Topic 2: These days many families move to other countries for work. Some people believe that the children in these families benefit from this move. However, others believe that it makes life more difficult for the children. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

It is important for all towns and cities to have large public outdoor places like squares and parks. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

The rise of social media has affected personal relationships and society as a whole. Do the advantages of using social media for communication outweigh the disadvantages?

Many wild animals have become endangered. Why has this happened? What can governments do to stop this from continuing to happen?

Some people think that modern tecchnology is making people more sociable, while others think it is making them less sociable Discuss both views and give your opinion

Some people believe that teenagers should be required to do unpaid community work in their free time. This can benefit teenagers and the community as well. To wat extent do you agree or disagree.