Topic 2: These days many families move to other countries for work. Some people believe that the children in these families benefit from this move. However, others believe that it makes life more difficult for the children. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

#topic #families #move #countries #work #people #children #benefit #life

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Nowadays, more and more children move from their home country to another

due to

their parents or caretakers changing workplaces.

While

many believe that the decision to migrate could be beneficial for the

kids

, others disagree and think that

this

kind of huge shift might lead to a harder living situation for them. From my perspective,

while

considering both views, I see that moving countries

Change preposition

at in

show examples

Correct your spelling

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early age may be causing more good than harm. Environmental transformation could have a number of benefits to youngsters.

Firstly

, they will meet new people in their destination

while

still having connections to their previous friends from their hometown. Thanks to

this

, these

kids

will

then

have more connections--a global one in fact.

Secondly

, being in a whole new place means the young will be introduced to another culture and habits.

For instance

, they can learn more than one language, celebrate people with different upbringings, and tolerate differences.

Therefore

, these

kids

will have much richer cultural knowledge and better adaptation skills.

Nevertheless

, immigration for young children might have several downsides. As a matter of fact,

such

a big transformation could definitely give them a sense of confusion. It is not a surprise if some of them are facing serious problems

such

as identity crises throughout their childhood. Even

further

, it is possible for them to be isolated by their peers, whether it is in their school or neighbourhood. In fact, a recent study found that newcomers in a group of

kids

have a significantly higher risk of getting bullied by

the

Correct article usage

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circle of associates. Yet of course,

this

is not always going to be the case for everyone.

To conclude

, if parents are giving serious consideration to the psychological well-being of their

kids

, moving to other countries could eventually bring positive impact to them including global connection and diverse cultural understanding.

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task achievement

While your essay addresses the topic well, try to provide a more balanced discussion. Giving equal weight to both views will strengthen your argument.

task achievement

Work on elaborating your main points with more specific examples and evidence. This will make your arguments more convincing.

coherence cohesion

Pay attention to the logical flow of your essay. Ensure each paragraph transitions smoothly to the next, connecting ideas in a clear manner.

coherence cohesion

Make sure to restate your opinion clearly in the conclusion to reinforce your stance.

task achievement

Your introduction clearly outlines both points of view, setting up the discussion effectively.

coherence cohesion

You have followed a logical structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion, which helps the reader follow your argument.

coherence cohesion

Your language and vocabulary usage are strong, enhancing the readability of your essay.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

12
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

5 paragraphs

307 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

Migration
Globalization
Opportunities
Diversity
Assimilation
Adaptability
Language acquisition
Education
Career prospects
Social connections
Isolation
Cultural identity
Support systems
Parental guidance
Ambiguous

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Topic 2: These days many families move to other countries for work. Some people believe that the children in these families benefit from this move. However, others believe that it makes life more difficult for the children. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Many people believe that international tourism is a bad thing for their countries. What are the reasons for this? What can be done to change this negative attitude towards international tourism?

Some people say that what individuals do to protect the environment cannot make difference, others say that individuals can protect the environment. Discuss both of these views and give your opinion.

The two below show the site of a college in 2006 and the present day.

In a number of countries, some people think it is necessary to spend large sums of money on constructing new railway lines for very fast trains between cities. Others believe the money should be spent on improving existing public transport.