The development of tourism contributed to English becoming the most prominent language in the world. Some people think this will lead to English becoming the only language to be spoken legally. What are the advantages and disadvantages of learning one language in the world?

Tourism is
important
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an important

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factor
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to factor

It appears that the verb factor should be in the to-infinitive form. Consider adding the word to.

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to a country’s economy, which attracts people from all over the world.
English
has been considered/developed into the most important
language
in the world where a few sections of society opine that
English
is the only
language
to be spoken lawfully. In
this
essay, we will discuss
about
Remove the preposition
apply

The preposition about seems unecessary after the verb discuss. Consider removing the preposition.

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both advantages and drawbacks of having one
language
in the world.
To begin
with, considering
English
as the only means of communication to be used legitimately has proven to be beneficial to all countries in many ways.
Moreover
, it helps in communicating effectively and sharing information about businesses, resources and their ideas which lead to economy growth.
For instance
, China has
lot
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a lot

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of resources
which
Correct pronoun usage
that

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attract many countries to exchange goods. It not only connects people but
also
maintain friendly relations with foreign countries and make peace with them. At
this
point, tourism is a social, cultural and economical phenomenon where
country’s
Correct article usage
the country’s

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revenue will be raised.
However
,
English
trending as
global
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the global
a global

The noun phrase global system seems to be missing a determiner before it. Consider adding an article.

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system of communication can be detrimental for all other languages which will come to
an
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apply

The indefinite article, an, may be redundant when used with the uncountable noun extinction in your sentence. Consider removing it.

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extinction. Eventually, it will cause a natural death of the culture and vernacular
language
of that region and country. For
example
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For example

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, tourism has no meaning if it cannot showcase its culture with local
language
and unable to portray its heritage. In conclusion, being an evident benefit of
English
becoming universal
language
leads to global growth, but it
also
has its disadvantages that it doesn’t incorporate the customs which are preserved by ancestors to

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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