Many people think that every individual is responsible for their happiness, but some people believe there are other external factors that influence us. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

✍️ Want to check your own essay?Write on this topic →

Introduction

Humankind has never been so gloomy about their lives. In

this

Linking Words

context,

one

Use synonyms

side of society believes that the individual is the main source for their personal joy, whereas, others agree that it relies on circumstances outside their reach. I tend to agree that external factors are crucial for an enjoyable life, because how can

one

Use synonyms

be happy in a war territory

for example

Linking Words

Body paragraph 1

On the

one

Use synonyms

hand, there is a saying which is, that you will not be happy with another person if you are not happy alone.

In other words

Linking Words

, the individual should seek happiness on their own and not rely on others.

For example

Linking Words

, it is crucial to do what you enjoy in life and be around environments that are pleasant for yourself and not doing

this

Linking Words

because someone told you that they

Correct pronoun usage

itlike

show examples

Body paragraph 2

On the other hand

Linking Words

, it is impossible to have everything you want in life. There are situations that demand money and other needs opportunities that are not there for all individuals.

For instance

Linking Words

, some people enjoy travelling,

however

Linking Words

, they cannot go wherever they like because of money.

Additionally

Linking Words

, some look for a great professional career but not everyone can be promoted and be a CEO in their jobs.

Body paragraph 3

As far as I am concerned, I believe

that is

Linking Words

difficult to be happy on your own. The majority needs to accomplish goals in their lives that require external factors. As an illustration, living in a country which is constantly at war or is not easy to have basic needs

such

Linking Words

as food and water will make you sad.

Therefore

Linking Words

, the pursuit of happiness is different for everyone and in most cases rely on the context they are in.

Conclusion

In conclusion, I agree that

one

Use synonyms

's joy is dependable on several circumstances.

Although

Linking Words

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

a few can have it on their own, the vast majority will need luck and external help to change their environment.

dieego_gutierrez

Jun 19, 2021

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Do you want to check your IELTS essays?

Submit unlimited essays, letters and charts. Sign up right now and start improving your writing skills.

11
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 7.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 8.5

Complete response

8.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

5 paragraphs

318 words

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

7.5
band
Some people believe that governments should have access to people’s mobile phone call records and messages for safety reasons. Others believe that this information is private and should not be available without permission.
In our modern day and age, people use mobile phIn our modern day and age, people use mobile phones for daily activities starting from communicating with others to carrying out work meetings and online banking. It is argued by some that for safety reasons governments should monitor their citizen's phones, while others believe this is a violation of privacy. In this essay, I will discuss these two perspectives and give my opinion.
7
band
It is becoming increasingly popular to have a year off between finishing school and going university. What are the advantages and disadvantages of this trend?
In this day and age, people generally pursue a university education after schooling. It has been observed that most of the students are taking a drop of 1 year before commencing their further studies in colleges. This trend has both benefits and drawbacks, and this essay will examine both sides of the issue.
8.5
band
In some countries, many more people are choosing to live alone nowadays than in the past. Do you think this is a positive or negative development?
There are countries where more people prefer to live by themselves than they did in the past. I believe this is a positive development because these people’s actions contribute to their self-growth, and when people live alone, it creates a more peaceful life for them.
7
band
Do advantages of damaging untouched natural places to get source of oil and gas outweigh the disadvantages?
As the human population grows, there will be a significant necessity for energy sources of oil and gas. Even though some people agree that people should be obtaining more sources of energy in the deep ground by expanding the mining area, some others argue that taking oil and gas in untouched natural areas endangers the biosystem and its people. In my opinion, I firmly believe that the advantages do not outweigh the disadvantages.
7.5
band
Some people think that older employees contribute most to the success of a company. Others think that younger people play a more vital role. Discuss both views and give your opinion.
Some say that experienced workers put more effort into the achievement of an organization. While others would argue that freshers play a pivotal part. This essay will argue that although novices are more inquisitive about learning and flexible enough to adapt different skills, I believe, elder staff are more resourceful and precise decision-makers.

Many people think that every individual is responsible for their happiness, but some people believe there are other external factors that influence us. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Some people believe that governments should have access to people’s mobile phone call records and messages for safety reasons. Others believe that this information is private and should not be available without permission.

It is becoming increasingly popular to have a year off between finishing school and going university. What are the advantages and disadvantages of this trend?

In some countries, many more people are choosing to live alone nowadays than in the past. Do you think this is a positive or negative development?

Do advantages of damaging untouched natural places to get source of oil and gas outweigh the disadvantages?

Some people think that older employees contribute most to the success of a company. Others think that younger people play a more vital role. Discuss both views and give your opinion.