Many people think that every individual is responsible for their happiness, but some people believe there are other external factors that influence us. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

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Humankind has never been so gloomy about their lives. In

this

context,

one

side of society believes that the individual is the main source for their personal joy, whereas, others agree that it relies on circumstances outside their reach. I tend to agree that external factors are crucial for an enjoyable life, because how can

one

be happy in a war territory

for example

. On the

one

hand, there is a saying which is, that you will not be happy with another person if you are not happy alone.

In other words

, the individual should seek happiness on their own and not rely on others.

For example

, it is crucial to do what you enjoy in life and be around environments that are pleasant for yourself and not doing

this

because someone told you that they

Correct pronoun usage

itlike

show examples

On the other hand

, it is impossible to have everything you want in life. There are situations that demand money and other needs opportunities that are not there for all individuals.

For instance

, some people enjoy travelling,

however

, they cannot go wherever they like because of money.

Additionally

, some look for a great professional career but not everyone can be promoted and be a CEO in their jobs. As far as I am concerned, I believe

that is

difficult to be happy on your own. The majority needs to accomplish goals in their lives that require external factors. As an illustration, living in a country which is constantly at war or is not easy to have basic needs

such

as food and water will make you sad.

Therefore

, the pursuit of happiness is different for everyone and in most cases rely on the context they are in. In conclusion, I agree that

one

's joy is dependable on several circumstances.

Although

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

a few can have it on their own, the vast majority will need luck and external help to change their environment.

Submitted by dieego_gutierrez on Sat Jun 19 2021

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11
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meeting the goal of 7 or more
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Word repetition
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Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 7.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 8.5

Complete response

8.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

5 paragraphs

318 words

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Many people think that every individual is responsible for their happiness, but some people believe there are other external factors that influence us. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Many manufactured food and drink products contain high levels of sugar; which causes many health problems. Sugary products should be made more expensive to encourage people to consume less sugar. Do you agree or disagree?

Governments should spend money on education than that of sports and recreation. Do you agree or disagree?

Some people believe that it is good for a country's culture to import foreign movies and TV programmes. Others think it is better to produce these locally. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

some people think that children should be encouraged to play outdoor games that require physical activities instead of playing computer games at home. Do you agree or disagree?

Nowadays both men and women spend a lot of money on beauty care. This was not so in the past. What may be the root cause of this behaviour? Discuss the reasons and possible results.