IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 7

Some people believe that unpaid community service should be a compulsory part of high school programmers (for example working for a charity, improving the neighbourhood or teaching sports to younger children).

#people #community #service #part #school #programmers #charity #neighbourhood #sports #children
In today's world, some people believe that the young generation must use their
time
 as best as they can.
Moreover
, they said that if they send to carry out some voluntary work, it can be productive for them.
Although
 young people might benefit from other ways of spending
time
, I agree with them who believe that they must do unpaid jobs. On the one hand, teenagers can do some jobs which are related to their ages. Many individuals argue that these days of humans never come back and we must let them do whatever they want and enjoy from young-age. It is clear that about 8-hours of their daily routine is accounted for education improvements. As result, except for sleeping
time
, they must have enough
time
 to enjoy their life and do some popular activities based on their generation and age
such
 as playing football.
On the other hand
, some personal skills which play a vital role in their future should be added to them at
this
 age.
Moreover
, parents must limit their free
time
 and participate in some social activities.
Firstly
, by taking part in voluntary works they can boost their character and experience, which have a significant impact whenever they going to be an adult. Some personal skills
such
 as responsibility are added to them by
this
 approach.
secondly
, many teenagers tend to spend most of their free
time
 playing computer games. under
such
 circumstances not only do they waste a huge amount of
time
, but
also
 lose many invaluable moments. In conclusion, there are many ways for young people which are beneficial for both themselves and their communities. In my opinion parents by the negative approach can participate their children in society and help them to build a strong personality.
Submitted by maleki.ali94 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: