Some people believe that the best way to improve public health is by increasing the number of sports facilities. Others, however, believe that this would have little effect on public health and that other measures are required. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

#people #health #sports #facilities #effect #measures

Some individuals consider enhanced

sports

facilities

the best way to boost public

health

However

, others believe that increasing the number of

sports

facilities

does not contribute enough to improve public

health

, and other measures are essential.

This

essay will explore why I agree that other methods are more effective for progress in public

health

To begin

with,

sports

facilities

have a significant effect on a person's attitude toward exercising, which is beneficial for

overall

health

Therefore

, constructing more

sports

facilities

may be a good option for public

health

Moreover

, they are crucial for those who do not have enough financial support to go to gyms or other

sports

centres.

For instance

, I used to go to a gym that did not require money, and it really helped me overcome my overweight problem.

On the other hand

, I believe that education is a vital factor in spreading awareness for public

health

. Teaching about

health

issues and how to deal with them is lifesaving in many cases.

For example

, I was not aware of my overweight problem because I was not educated well regarding that matter. So, it is important to educate the public about

health

concerns to address their

health

issues. In conclusion,

although

enhancing

sports

facilities

may be advantageous for people who cannot afford them, there are several reasons why I believe other measures are needed to improve public

health

. Educating the public is more effective because it helps individuals become more mindful of

health

issues and maintain their well-being.

Submitted by Yasar Khan on Sun Jul 21 2024

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task achievement

Your essay effectively addresses both views and provides a clear opinion, fulfilling the task requirements. However, further elaboration on how education can specifically address different public health issues could strengthen your argument.

coherence cohesion

You have a clear introduction and conclusion, and the essay is logically structured. To improve, you might consider using more transitional phrases to create smoother paragraph transitions and strengthen coherence.

introduction

The introduction effectively sets the stage for the discussion by presenting both views and clearly stating your opinion.

examples

You provide relevant examples to support your points, such as your personal experience with a free gym and the impact of education on addressing health issues.

organization

The essay is well-organized with distinct paragraphs that each express a specific point, enhancing readability and coherence.

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10Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

250 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

public health
sports facilities
physical activity
exercise
chronic diseases
heart disease
obesity
inclusivity
participation
safe environment
social interaction
community engagement
comprehensive approach
health education programs
environmental factors
healthcare infrastructure
quality healthcare services
public health initiatives

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Some people believe that the best way to improve public health is by increasing the number of sports facilities. Others, however, believe that this would have little effect on public health and that other measures are required. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Scientists have been warning for many years that to protect the environment, we have to limit the use of energy in a daily lives. Despite warning many people do not attention to this. What are the reasons for this and how can people be encouraged to save the environment?

In many countries nowadays, consumers can go to a supermarket and buy food produced all over the world. Do you think this is a positive or negative development?

Many parents choose to teach their children at home instead of sending them to school. Do you think the benefits of homeschooling outweigh its drawbacks?