IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 4.5

Governments should spend money on railways rather than roads. To what extend do you agree or disagree with this statement?

#governments #money #railways #roads
Due to
high
Correct article usage
the high
show examples
 populations in many countries, there is a dramatic change
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
 transportation. In order to meet the daily
demands
Add a comma
,demands
show examples
 governments started to think
for
Change preposition
of
show examples
 effective solutions to improve railways rather than the streets. I totally disagree with prefer one of these
project
Change to a plural noun
projects
show examples
 over the other. I believe both investments are completing each
others
Change to a singular noun
other
show examples
 for many reasons.
First
, country infrastructure enhancement is the main aim for government to solve traffic problems. The decision makers’ start to invest in renewing the railway and train cars, because they trust that
this
 kind of transportation can absorb more
people
 in one place rather than let them use their private cars and stuck with traffic jams for hours.
For example
, in France many
people
 using
underground
Correct article usage
the underground
show examples
 metro daily as they believe that they can reach their work on time without any unexpected delays.
That is
 why France starts to spend more money to improve these ways and increase metro lines and train stations to reach everywhere and service all districts. On the other hands,
road
 development is as important as railway improvement. In order to connect small cities together, you need to improve
street
Add an article
the street
show examples
 network.
This
 improvement will decrease
number
Change the article
the number
show examples
 of daily
road
 transportation accidents.
For instance
, New Delhi cities consist of narrow districts
need
Correct pronoun usage
that need
show examples
 extra care and require more funds to develop
road
 planning there. According to recent statistics for Indian
people
 satisfaction
for
Change preposition
with
show examples
 their
road
 structure, 76% of
people
 recommend reevaluation from the government to infrastructure for these cities as they are suffering from daily crash lead to more
people
 lose their lives.
Finally
, even though railway improvement is
significant
Add an article
a significant
show examples
project
Add the particle
to project
show examples
can
Correct pronoun usage
that can
show examples
 meet the country needs, Spending money to improve rebuilt roads constructions and highways are necessary to decline car accidents. .
Submitted by ayaezz54 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Carbon emissions
  • Mass transportation
  • Traffic congestion
  • Economic growth
  • Regional development
  • Initial investment
  • Feasibility
  • Flexibility
  • Rural areas
  • Integration
  • Sustainable
  • Efficiency
  • Infrastructure
  • Commuters
  • Public expenditure
  • Autonomous vehicles
  • Long-term investment
  • Accessibility
  • Connectivity
  • Modal shift
What to do next:
Look at other essays: