In many nations, the percentage of older people is steadily increasing. Does this trend have more positive or negative effect on the society?

7.0 / 9

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Introduction

Aged

people

Use synonyms

play an important role in their country’s development. The older

people

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population is gradually increasing in many developed countries. It is showing a positive trend and the society is getting benefitted in many ways. The reason for

this

Linking Words

steady growth is, technology development in the medical field and many young

children

Use synonyms

can be learned mannerism from them.

Body paragraph 1

To start with, the revolution in medical technology shows the greatest achievement in saving human’s life, especially older

people

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. Many scientists have been working continuously to find out new

medicines

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that can be used to cure diseases that do not have any

medicines

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For example

Linking Words

, for many years there were no

medicines

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to cure different kinds of cancer illness. Now, with the help of the greatest new robotics and machines, the treatments have done the magic for older

people

Use synonyms

liveliness.

As a result

Linking Words

, the death rate is decreasing, and it leads to a happy life for aged

people

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Body paragraph 2

Young

children

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can be brought up in good condition with the help of grandparents. In many families, both father and mother are working, and they do not have time to take care of their

children

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. In

this

Linking Words

case, the grandparents play a vital role in taking care of the grandchildren when they are at home.

For example

Linking Words

, they are helping in doing homework and playing with them.

Moreover

Linking Words

, the

children

Use synonyms

can be monitored all the time and

thus

Linking Words

help them avoid any illegal groups trapping.

As a result

Linking Words

children

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safety is protected.

Conclusion

To conclude, advanced

medicines

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help old

people

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to stay healthy and lead a peaceful life in society.

Also

Linking Words

, young

children

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get benefits from their grandparents in terms of safety and physical wellbeing. It is highly recommended to all the parents to stay with their parents for betterment in their

children

Use synonyms

’s care.

Vijay Pandurangan

Jun 21, 2021

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Your opinion

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...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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6
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

7.0

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

300 words

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Wild animals have no use in the 21st century and trying to preserve animals now is just a waste of resources. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

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