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Writing Samples
Band 5

Some people say no one should work after age of 65years ,others say that they should continue the work as long as they want.Discuss both views and give your opinion.

#people #work #age #years
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Although
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 some individuals believe that
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age
Correct article usage
the age
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 of retirement from
work
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 should not exceed 65 , others think that
people
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 should be permitted to
work
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 as long as they wish, regardless of their
age
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.In my opinion,
people
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 should not be allowed to continue working after
age
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 65 in order to give opportunities for the youths to acquire jobs. Some individuals think and I agree that
people
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 should not remain
in active
Correct your spelling
inactive
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service
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 beyond 65years old .
This
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 is because if
people
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 stay beyond
this
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age
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 , it will aggravate the problem of youth unemployment.In order words, a lot of youths are job seekers, most have graduated
long
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a long
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 time ago from various institutions without job owing to the fact that the elderly ones
stil
Correct your spelling
still
 many in active
service
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,thereby not creating space for youth to be employed. To illustrate
this
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, A Recent Newspaper report stated that 80% of young adults have
bin
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been
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 unemployed since
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the
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year 2015 that they finish from tertiary institutions.
In addition
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,
people
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 should not remain at
work
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 after 65years because
at
Add the comma(s)
,at
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this
Linking Words
age
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, their health status might have declined thereby not allowing them to have the strength to carry out
assigned
Add an article
the assigned
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 task.
However
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, others believe that
people
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 should be allowed to remain at
work
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 according to their will.They believe that forcing them to retire in their mid_ sixties is unfair. They believe some are still healthy to perform
certain
Add an article
a certain
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 task,so mandating them to retire against their wish will not be good on their part.
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Also
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,Also
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 they think that
people
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 at
this
Linking Words
age
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 have the necessary skills and experience necessary for the economy to prosper because they have been in
service
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 a very long time. In conclusion, while some individuals think that
people
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 should not remain at
work
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 beyond 65years, others have contrary views.In my opinion, I believe
people
Use synonyms
 should not exceed
age
Use synonyms
 65 so as to alleviate the problem of youth unemployment and to ensure that
people
Use synonyms
 with optimal health are those in
service
Use synonyms
.
Submitted by ayodam90 on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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