Some people think the government should focus on improving the economy of the country. Other people think that the government should focus on social services such as health and education programs. Which statement do you agree with? Explain and provide examples to support your opinion.

A fair amount of people believe that the authority should concentrate more on increasing the wealth of the country while others reckon that the authority should implement more benefits to the society in terms of fitness and study programmes. In my opinion, I utterly support the notion that the authority should provide additional support related to fitness and career-oriented courses. To embark on with my justification, there are many
schools
in the world where
the
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apply
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fitness training programmes are not mandatory as part of their curriculum.
Furthermore
, there is no awareness in moulding the students about the health consequences.
For instance
, young children
tends
Change the verb form
tend
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to eat more junk food items at the school cafeteria.
Moreover
,
schools
get more profit
at
Change preposition
from
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food
Correct article usage
the food
show examples
section department by selling delicious unhealthy snack.
Hence
, the
government
should implement
the
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apply
show examples
health awareness programmes in all
schools
, colleges and strictly ban the unhealthy food items which are sold at
schools
.
Additionally
, certainly in many emerging countries, educational institutions are lagging behind, in providing
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
high standard of
education
to the children. The
government
is focusing on improvising the economy of the nation rather than services
at
Change preposition
in
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education
Add an article
the education
show examples
system. The funds provided to
education
Add an article
the education
show examples
sector is too
less
Correct quantifier usage
little
show examples
compared to others. The high quality of
education
will bring an array of benefits to the nation in future.
Thus
the
government
should allocate funds to increase the
education
standards followed in their country. To conclude, the
government
should do extra services to improve
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
society's
education
and health. These are the key aspects which in return will increase the economy of the nation.
Submitted by amuthabecse on

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Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

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