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Writing Samples
Band 7

IT IS COMMONLY BELIEVE THAT NOWADAYS MAIN FACTOR THAT AFFECT A CHILD’S DEVELOPMENT ARE MEDIA,POP CULTURE AND FRIENDS.A DIFFERENT POINT OF VIEW IS THAT FAMILY PLAYS THE MOST SIGNIFICANT ROLE.DISCUSS BOTH VIEWS AND GIVE YOUR OPINION

#factor #child’s #development #media #pop #culture #friends #point #role
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In the current days, there are several majority factors which affect
child
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- development namely,
media
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, pop culture and
friends
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, and family play an essential role in the growth of
children
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 . In the following essay, we will explore both viewpoints, and I will mention my perspective. On the one hand, there are principal aspects of the development of
children
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 that
media
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, more and more people argue
this
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 trend of
media
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 can assist babies to growth mind and morals.
For example
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, my tiny
child
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 learns foreign languages from watching TV and imitates them in pronunciation and gestures.
In addition
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, pop culture and
friends
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 have many benefits to develop
children
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. A clear example is an article published by Al Watan newspaper in 2016 that shows "babies acquire language and morals from surrounded people community". That means
children
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 were affected by
friends
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 and the nations.
On the other hand
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, a family has the worst affective on the lifestyle of
children
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. First and foremost, the
child
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 learns from parents since he/she is pregnant. To illustrate more, how to know if mom feeds him/her the milk in the first birth?
For instance
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, parents teach their
children
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 some attitudes like kindness, bravery and patience in their daily lives and encourage them to make mistakes and face challenges to improve their personalities and be aware of the danger of risks.
This
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 trend returned to me to the past when I was a
child
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 , I faced a variety of challenges in school especially, in math subject. Fortunately, I succeeded and obtained the high band in that subject by helping my mom and dad. In conclusion, I was convinced both views are complete each one.
Therefore
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, the community should put balance in the lives of
children
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.
Additionally
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, kids need family,
friends
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,
media
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 and pop culture.
Furthermore
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, All of them boost the
child
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 to improve and create an appropriate lifestyle.
Submitted by lailakhalil3 on

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task response
Clarify the main thesis in the introduction and make it clear what your opinion is from the outset.
task response
Ensure all main points are supported by relevant specific examples. The examples should be varied and directly linked to the argument being made.
coherence cohesion
Improve paragraph transitions to create more seamless connections between ideas.
coherence cohesion
Avoid repetitive language and vary sentence structures for better readability.
task response
Good attempt to discuss both viewpoints and provide an opinion.
coherence cohesion
Conclusion effectively summarizes the essay and provides a balanced view.
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