IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

Using a computer every day can have more negative than positive effects on Do you agree or disagree?

#computer #effects
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
The daily
use
Use synonyms
 of laptops could bring different consequences, either good or bad to the younger ones. Nowadays, parents are more concerned about
this
Linking Words
 situation, due to the number of issues
this
Linking Words
 could represent.
However
Linking Words
, the
use
Use synonyms
 of
this
Linking Words
 type of devices would permit children to acquire more knowledge and LET them be connected with their loved ones.
Therefore
Linking Words
, I strongly disagree with the previous statement. On one hand, the internet is a deep place where it could be found the diversity of information and, it could not be allowed for the younger ones; the continuous
use
Use synonyms
 could create dependence on
this
Linking Words
 device, occasionally, children could be aggressive if is taken away from them,
also
Linking Words
, every often they would prefer to avoid family time.
Nevertheless
Linking Words
, to settle different rules and reaching an agreement it could be a friendly environment at home.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, referring to the previous paragraph, the settlement of rules would permit children to acquire a variety of knowledge,
for instance
Linking Words
, to find information for different subjects and to love technology,
besides
Linking Words
,
this
Linking Words
 electronic device allows them to meet friends and to play video games with them as well as maintain them connected with their family. From my own experience as a mother, I set different rules for my 6 years old daughter, she only has permitted to
use
Use synonyms
 her computer for 2 hours a day and some applications have been blocked FOR HER SAFETY. To summarize,
certainly
Add a comma
,certainly
show examples
 computers are a magnificent electronic device, which approaches us to a whole new world,
however
Linking Words
, it must apply have been taken seriously,
otherwise
Linking Words
, it could be hazardous equipment for the younger generations.
Submitted by cortez.damaris on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: