Children who are brought up in families that do not have large amounts of money are better prepared to deal with the problems of adult life than children brought up by wealthy parents. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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In the modern world, it is undeniable that upbringing plays a crucial role in shaping an individual’s ability to deal with challenges in adulthood. Some people argue that
children
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raised in less wealthy
families
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are better prepared for adult
life
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compared to those from affluent backgrounds.
Although
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some may agree with
this
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view, I partly support it
due to
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several reasons, which will be examined in
this
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essay. One of the most apparent reasons is that
children
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from less wealthy
families
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often develop resilience and practical
life
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skills. To illustrate, limited financial resources may require them to learn responsibility, independence, and problem-solving from an early age.
For instance
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,
such
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children
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may contribute to household tasks, manage limited budgets, or find ways to overcome difficulties.
In addition
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, experiencing challenges can help individuals become more adaptable and better prepared to handle future obstacles. Another point that should not be overlooked is that
children
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from wealthy
families
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can
also
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be well prepared for adult
life
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under the right circumstances. To clarify, access to better education, resources, and opportunities can support personal development and skill-building.
For example
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, with proper guidance from parents,
children
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from affluent backgrounds may learn discipline, responsibility, and critical thinking.
Furthermore
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, financial stability can reduce stress and allow individuals to focus on long-term goals, which may
also
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contribute to success in adulthood. To recapitulate, it is evident that
children
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from less wealthy
families
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may develop resilience and independence,
while
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those from wealthier backgrounds can benefit from greater opportunities and support.
Therefore
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, I believe that financial background alone does not determine preparedness for adult
life
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, as personal development depends on a combination of experiences, education, and upbringing.

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task response
Give a stronger answer in the first part. Say more clearly how far you agree or disagree.
task response
Add more direct examples. Your ideas are good, but the examples are a bit general.
task response
Develop each main point more. Explain how and why in a deeper way.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay is easy to follow, but some linking words feel repeated. Try to vary them.
coherence and cohesion
Some body parts are a little balanced but not fully connected to your main view. Make each paragraph support your opinion more clearly.
coherence and cohesion
Use clearer topic sentences at the start of each body paragraph.
task response
You answer both sides of the question and give your own view.
coherence and cohesion
Your introduction and conclusion are both clear and complete.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has a clear paragraph plan and ideas move in a logical order.
Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general
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