IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7.5

In some countries, owning a home rather than renting one is very important for people. Why might this be the case? Do you think this is a positive or negative situation?

#countries #home #people #be #case #situation
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In many nations, having their own shelter is more vital than renting one. In my opinion, the reason for
this
Linking Words
 relates to
money
Use synonyms
 and
this
Linking Words
 is a negative trend. The reason why
people
Use synonyms
 tend to buy a
home
Use synonyms
 is to reduce the
amount
Use synonyms
 of
money
Use synonyms
 spent on housing fees. When
people
Use synonyms
 rent a
home
Use synonyms
, they have to calculate their wage economically to have enough
money
Use synonyms
 to pay
rent
Replace the word
rental
show examples
 fees, which is compensated for the fall in the
amount
Use synonyms
 of
money
Use synonyms
 that individuals spend on other necessary stuff.
This
Linking Words
 may result in the degradation of the quality of
people
Use synonyms
’s lives.
On the contrary
Linking Words
, purchasing and having their own
home
Use synonyms
 means inhabitants do not need to divert their income in housing fees. As a consequence, they can spend their personal budget on the more essential things
such
Linking Words
 as education, healthcare and leisure activities, which help boost their living standard.
Nonetheless
Linking Words
, I believe
this
Linking Words
 is a negative situation because it forces
people
Use synonyms
 to work more.
For example
Linking Words
, workers and officers have to extend their working time to receive perks so that they can have an adequate
amount
Use synonyms
 of
money
Use synonyms
 to buy a house. For the working class,
this
Linking Words
 is the optimal way to earn more
money
Use synonyms
. The result is that they are more likely to suffer from various diseases
such
Linking Words
 as insomnia, obesity.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, it damages their relationships since they cannot interact with their family and their friends once they have to be in the workplace for more hours. In conclusion, the reason for
this
Linking Words
 trend is reducing their spending on housing and
this
Linking Words
 is a negative situation since it leads to an excessive
amount
Use synonyms
 of working hours.
People
Use synonyms
 should rent a
home
Use synonyms
 before they can afford to buy a house on their own.
Submitted by yurodoan3 on

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Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • ownership
  • renting
  • importance
  • sense of security
  • stability
  • financial investment
  • asset
  • customize
  • decorate
  • belonging
  • community
  • potential
  • future generations
  • long-term
  • cost advantage
  • control
  • living space
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