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Writing Samples
Band 6

An increasing number of children are overweight which could result many problems whey they grow older both in term of their health and health care costs What do you think so many children are overweight? What could be done to solve this problem?

#children #whey #term #health #care #costs
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A large number of
children
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 nowadays have
obesity
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, which has detrimental effects on their health when they become adults. Personally, I think the reasons for
this
Linking Words
 are the compulsive consumption of junk
food
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 and the lack of physical activities, which could be addressed by changing to a healthier diet and taking regular exercises. There are several reasons for the proliferation of overweight
children
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 in society. The
first
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 among
such
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 factors
is
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are
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 eating a redundant amount of unhealthy
food
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. Research indicates that 17% of
children
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 between the age of 2 and 19 are prey to
obesity
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 since their
parents
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 prefer eating non-healthy
food
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 at fast-
food
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 restaurants
such
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 as McDonald’s rather than cooking nutritious meals at home.
Additionally
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, being inactive
also
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 contributes to the
obesity
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 problem.
Children
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 nowadays have a sedentary lifestyle that they just spend all of their time
on
Change preposition
apply
show examples
using electrical devices
such
Linking Words
 as mobile phones, tablets or laptops rather than practising sports. As a consequence, they are becoming obese and unhealthy In order for
children
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 to stay fit,
parents
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 should be more careful about what their
children
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 eat and focus on their daily activities.
Parents
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 ought to limit their
children
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’s intake of fast
food
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 and try to cook healthy
food
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 at home. Another possible solution is to manage their
children
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’s screen time.
Children
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 need to follow a strict
time table
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timetable
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 that they can only spend 1 hour on video games and using the Internet.
Besides
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,
parents
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 should encourage their
children
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 to engage in sporting activities at least 2 hours per day In conclusion, the solutions for childhood
obesity
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, which is caused by excessive fat accumulation and the increase in physical inactivity, are to reduce the amount of
fast
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fast-food
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food
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 consumed and doing sports.
Submitted by yurodoan3 on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Overweight
  • Obesity
  • Sedentary lifestyle
  • Screen time
  • Physical activity
  • Fast food
  • Caloric intake
  • Nutrition
  • Dietary habits
  • Advertising
  • Health education
  • Socio-economic factors
  • Recreational facilities
  • Genetic predisposition
  • School lunch programs
  • Physical education
  • Government intervention
  • Food subsidies
  • Sugary drinks tax
  • Community initiatives
  • Urban planning
  • Healthcare providers
  • Early detection
  • Dietary advice
  • Weight monitoring
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