IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Music has been and will continue to be the universal language of mankind. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#music #language #mankind
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As the years
had
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apply
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passed by, the means of entertainment
had
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apply
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continuously
change
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changed
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,
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however
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however,
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music
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 has persisted as one of the most popular.
In addition
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, some argue that it has and should continue serving as a tool for communication between regions and cultures. I strongly believe, that even when not speaking the same
language
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, people can connect through their
music
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.
This
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 essay will look at why
music
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 has been a connector between nations and generations.
Firstly
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, we have to consider that the ability to compose or play an instrument is independent of the
language
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 each person speaks. Through their
songs
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songs,
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 many artists can express and transmit their emotions and feelings. In consequence, they get to connect with others, regardless
the
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of the
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 differences in culture and nationality.
For example
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, each year in my country there is a concert
that is
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 transmitted widely in the media. Different singers are presented simultaneously in diverse states, with the aim of getting people together and
raise
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raising
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 funds for children with cancer.
This
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 has demonstrated that
music
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 is a shared
language
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 in the whole country.
On the other hand
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,
music
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 has been present since ancient times and reflects part of the culture of a town. It is interesting how despite generations
change
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changing
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, we can always connect by listening to memorable melodies. Maybe, the best example for me is the Mariachi
music
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 played in my country. It is a regional genre which we play for festivities, no matter age or origin, when listening to it we immediately get to celebrate.
To conclude
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, because of its capacity
of getting
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to get
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 people connected through boundaries and generations, I agree that
music
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 should continue to be considered a universal
language
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 for humans.
Submitted by chrisbourlon on

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task response
Provide a more thorough analysis of the arguments for and against the idea that music is a universal language.
coherence and cohesion
Ensure that the essay follows a clear and logical organization, with each paragraph contributing to the overall argument.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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