Education for young people is important in many countries. However, the others think government should spend more money for education in adult population who cannot read and write”. To what extent do you agree or disagree? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

In the majority of
states
Add a comma
,states

It appears that you are missing a comma after the introductory phrase In the majority of states. Consider adding a comma.

show examples
education is fundamental for young people. Despite
this
, the others believe that public institutions should destinate more budget to allow
old
Add an article
the old
an old

The noun phrase old population seems to be missing a determiner before it. Consider adding an article.

show examples
population to learn how
wrtite
Correct your spelling
write

The word wrtite is not in our dictionary. If you’re sure this spelling is correct, you can add it to your personal dictionary to prevent future alerts.

and read.
Altough
Correct your spelling
Although

The word Altough is not in our dictionary. If you’re sure this spelling is correct, you can add it to your personal dictionary to prevent future alerts.

I agree that educational services should be offered mainly to the teenage community, I think to permit a complete development of a country is important to share these programs among adults. On the one
hansd
Correct your spelling
hand

The word hansd is not in our dictionary. If you’re sure this spelling is correct, you can add it to your personal dictionary to prevent future alerts.

, the youth represent the principal source for the growth of a nation. The school system must give
the
Correct pronoun usage
them the

It seems that there is a pronoun problem here.

show examples
possibility to improve their skills and let them
to
Change the verb form
apply

It appears that the verb to reach should be in the bare infinitive form. Consider removing to from in front of this verb.

show examples
reach their dreams. For
this
reason,
governaments
Correct your spelling
governments

The word governaments is not in our dictionary. If you’re sure this spelling is correct, you can add it to your personal dictionary to prevent future alerts.

have to allocate
big
Add an article
the big
a big

The noun phrase big amount seems to be missing a determiner before it. Consider adding an article.

show examples
amount of money
on
Change preposition
in

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

show examples
this
field because only in
this
way will be possible to create a future workforce that may increase the richness of a country.
To
Change preposition
For

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

show examples
instance, in
Italy
Add a comma
,Italy

It appears that you are missing a comma after the introductory phrase in Italy. Consider adding a comma.

show examples
there are many money
prize
Change to a plural noun
prizes

The singular countable noun prize follows the quantifier many, which requires a plural noun. Consider using a plural noun or a different quantifier.

show examples
for poor students to let them
to
Fix the infinitive
apply

It seems that the use of particle to may be incorrect here.

show examples
continue their studies after high school and to attend the most prestigious
univerisities
Correct your spelling
universities

The word univerisities is not in our dictionary. If you’re sure this spelling is correct, you can add it to your personal dictionary to prevent future alerts.

following their job
ambitious
Replace the word
ambitions

The word ambitious doesn’t seem to fit this context. Consider replacing it with a different one.

show examples
.
On the other hand
, to have the
fully
Change the adverb
full

It appears that the adverb fully is attempting to modify the noun evolution. Consider replacing the adverb with an adjective.

show examples
evolution of
a nations
Correct the article-noun agreement
nations
a nation

The indefinite article a may not be required with the plural noun nations in this sentence. Consider removing the article, or changing the noun to singular.

show examples
most of the citizens must know reading and writing.
This
because is not
aceptable
Correct your spelling
acceptable

The word aceptable is not in our dictionary. If you’re sure this spelling is correct, you can add it to your personal dictionary to prevent future alerts.

that many adults, especially in the poorest areas of a country
dont
Correct your spelling
don't

The word dont is not in our dictionary. If you’re sure this spelling is correct, you can add it to your personal dictionary to prevent future alerts.

know
this
Correct determiner usage
these

It seems that determiner use may be incorrect here.

show examples
skills.
This
situation affects the general wellbeing of a nation because especially in
third
world nations many productivity sectors can evolve and improve their productions because of the missing of educated employees.
For example
, in 1970 is started
a
Change the article
an

The article a may be incorrect. Consider changing it to agree with the beginning sound of the following word enormous.

show examples
enormous educational programme in Italy that consisted
in
Change preposition
of

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

show examples
the creation of schools in far villages of the nations with the
pourpose
Correct your spelling
purpose

The word pourpose is not in our dictionary. If you’re sure this spelling is correct, you can add it to your personal dictionary to prevent future alerts.

of reducing consistently the number of illiterates providing them
all
Change preposition
with all

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

show examples
the items that need to improve their abilities and have a better future. To conclude, though I agree that
large
Change the article
a large

It appears that the phrase large amount does not contain the correct article usage. Consider making a change.

show examples
amount of money must
be spend
Change the verb form
be spent

It appears that the form of the verb spend does not work with be in this sentence.

show examples
for
Change preposition
on

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

show examples
the development of knowledge between scholars, I think that another part should be destinate to dramatically reduce
numbers
Correct article usage
the numbers

It seems that article use may be incorrect here.

show examples
of adults that still are not able to write and to read because
this
issue
reprent
Correct your spelling
represent

The word reprent is not in our dictionary. If you’re sure this spelling is correct, you can add it to your personal dictionary to prevent future alerts.

a big obstacle to the growth of a nation.
Submitted by andreacorbelli30 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Read more in the eBook

The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »

* free ebook for Premium users

What to do next:
Look at other essays: