IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

Some people think that the government should spend more money on public services rather than wasting it on arts. To what extend do you agree or disagree?

#people #government #money #services #arts
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In the contemporary day and age, the importance of public
services
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 is undeniable.
Therefore
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, some people believe that
governments
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 should fund public
services
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such
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 as
health
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 care and transportation rather than
arts
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. Personally, I agree that civil
services
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 need more funding, but the money should not be taken from the
arts
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. The following paragraphs would highlight my personal perspective along with relevant examples.
Firstly
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, the development of rural and suburban transportation can tackle the issue of overpopulation in cities and facilitate the development of the economy.
For example
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, in our everyday life, we can see how people move from rural areas to cities, one of the main reasons for
this
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 issue is poor transportation facilities.
Additionally
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, good conditions in public transports would help to minimize traffic jams in urban streets. Shifting towards
health
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 care - it is one of the basic human rights and the greatest asset of a nation. For that reason,
governments
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 should focus on funding the medicine sector primarily.
For instance
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, some people can not afford to pay for
health
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 care
services
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.
Subsequently
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, investment into public
health
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 would facilitate a healthy generation.
However
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, the aforementioned sectors cannot be funded from the money allocated for
arts
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. Because art is a way to express a unique history and culture of a nation.
Moreover
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, art is already poorly funded;
thus
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, if
governments
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 stop funding at all, some of the artworks may be gone obsolete. Overall, I agree that funding public
services
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 by
governments
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 has overriding importance on many levels. At the same time, I am considered that the money should not be taken from the
arts
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.
Instead
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,
governments
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 can limit the budget for various showcase projects
such
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 as military parades.
Submitted by shoira.shakirovna on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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